Page 54 of Love's Free Will

“Please…” the doctor said. “I understand this is an emotional time for you. Let’s get you out of prying eyes Mr. Teegan.” He knew who I was, had to. It was the only reason I could think of that he would suggest we moved from out of the open.

I went over and lifted my mama and Princess off the ground before they led us to a small private family room. Four salmon colored walls, one ugly ass green couch, three plastic chairs, a box of tissues on a small end table and a clock ticking too fuckin’ loud.

I sat down in a chair and just stared at the floor. Zay came in, sat across from me, but I couldn’t even look at him. My mama and Princess huddled on the couch, hugging each other.

Averi’s name lit up on my phone screen again.I ignored it.

Then I saw the text.

Ave: I’m here if you need me. Please just talk to me.

But I couldn’t. Because all I could think was If I was there… he’d still be alive. If I hadn’t left that club with Averi… if I had stayed longer like King wanted me to, my brother would still be here.

Rage exploded inside me. I stood up andthrew the chair across the room. It hit the wall and shattered. Princess screamed and Queenie jumped, then rushed over to me. “ROYAL!Stop!”

I grabbed the end table and slammed it into the floor, splinters flyin’. “HE WAS JUST HERE!” I screamed. “HE WAS RIGHTFUCKIN’HERE!” My mother’s arms wrapped around me. I collapsed into her, shaking. “I’m sorry, Mama,” I sobbed. “I’m so sorry.”

She cried with me. Held me. Rocked me like I was still her little boy. “I know, baby,” she whispered. “I know.”

The world had stopped. And I didn’t know if it would ever start again.

The drive back was silent.Zay didn’t say a word. I didn’t either. What the fuck could be said? The streets blurred outside the window. Every red light felt like a goddamn insult. My ears were still ringing from my mama’s cries. That wail, the way she screamed, it was surreal. But nothing could block out the truth; King was gone. And I wasn’t there. I wasn’t fucking there.

By the time we pulled into the building, me finishing my album, the tequila, the music, the VIP lights from earlier—it all felt like a fucked up dream. A cruel ass setup. And the only thing louder than my heartbeat was the pounding guilt clawing at my chest.

I just wanted to get upstairs, lock the door and sit in silence. I didn’t say a word to Zay, had no words left to give him or anybody else.

Minutes later, I stepped off the elevator, barely remembering how I got to my door, my hands shaking as I pushed it open. I wasn’t ready to talk to nobody. Not Zay, Not Queenie, not my Pops, not Princess, hell, not even God right now.

But when I stepped inside, thereshewas. She was sitting curled up on the couch in one of my hoodies, her legs pulled underneath her, makeup gone, hair finally tamed, face soft. Her eyes widened the moment she saw me, like relief just punched the air out of her lungs.

"Royal..." Her voice cracked as she stood, like she’d been holding her breath since I left.

I blinked. For a second, I almost felt grounded again. Shit, almost.

“You still here?” My voice came out rough, low. Too flat for the storm raging inside.

She swallowed, walking over slowly. “I—yeah. I couldn’t just leave. I didn’t know what happened. I’ve been calling you all night?—”

“I know.” I cut her off, eyes fixed past her.

She stopped inches away from me. “Royal, talk to me. What’s going on? What happened?”

My jaw locked. My throat tightened. I wanted to say it. Needed to. But the words tasted like blood, that coppery taste that made you want to throw up instantly. So, I just shook my head and muttered, “He gone.”

Her whole body froze. “What?” Her voice barely made it past her lips.

“King…” I forced out. “He dead, Averi.”

A sharp gasp cut through the room like a blade. Her hand covered her mouth, and tears immediately welled up in her eyes. “Royal, I’m so sorry?—”

“I should’ve been there,” I said, more to myself than her. “If I ain’t leave him, he’d still be here.”

“Royal, no,” she whispered, shaking her head. “Don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself.”

But I already did. Her hand reached for mine, but I flinched. “I can’t… I can’t do this right now,” I said, stepping back. “You gotta go.”

Her face fell. “Wait, what?”

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