Page 94 of Love's Free Will

I dimmed the booth light until I was bathed in darkness. Just the track and me. That’s how I knew it was real—when I didn’t need to see anything, just feel it. I pressed record and closed my eyes. The piano loop started—gentle, familiar. Like walking into a version of myself I almost lost. Then I opened my mouth.

You showed up when the silence got too loud

When my heart forgot what steady felt like…

My voice cracked a little on the second line but still, I kept going.

You didn’t ask me to let you in,

But you waited ‘til I opened up that night…

You were thunder in the silence… a little reckless, little wildin’...

The hook slipped out of me like a prayer. With every word, I felt the tension fall from my shoulders. I remembered every moment that led me here—our fights, our silences, the studio sessions where we acted like strangers just to protect ourselves. This song wasn’t about anger or pain anymore. It was about survival. Softness. The kind of love that grows after the fire.

I sang the second verse with more strength.

You loved me through my ugly… even when I made it hard to breathe…

My voice floated over the chords, dipping into falsetto, then catching flame in the bridge.

You didn’t save me…

You just loved me while I learned how to save myself…

Once the song ended, there was a brief silence, a moment for me to reflect and to gather my emotions. I pulled the headphones off slowly, blinking against the weight in my chest.

That’s when I heard it—a sound in the hallway. The door creaked slightly open. I turned and there Royal was, leaning against the doorframe in a hoodie and sweats, hood half up, eyes locked on mine like he’d just walked in on a secret.

“Didn’t know you were coming in tonight; I was on my way to Biggie and thought I heard you.” he said quietly. I didn’t answer, couldn’t. My throat was still tight. He stepped inside, slowly, like he didn’t want to break the moment. “That for me?” he asked, nodding toward the booth.

My lips parted, then closed again. I didn’t want to admit it. But the truth was clear between us.

“Yeah.”

“It’s beautiful baby,” he said. “The way you see me... See us.”

I shrugged, looking down at the console. “I didn’t know if I was ever gonna let anybody hear it.”

He stepped closer. “I’m glad you did.”

A brief silence passed between us. Then I said, voice barely above a whisper, “I needed to say it. Even if it was just for me.”

His eyes softened. “It’s for both of us.” He reached for my hand and held it like it was made of glass. “You are an amazing woman Averi St. Claire. I love the fuck outta you.”

“Good, you better.”

EPILOGUE PART 1

AVERI

2 months later

If someone told me earlier this year, I’d be spending my first Christmas morning curled up in front of a fireplace, matching pajamas on, in a home I share with Royal… I would’ve laughed in their face. And yet, here I am.

We’d been living together for almost three weeks now. Right after Concrete Roses dropped, Royal put in an offer on the house in the Hills he’d been renting. The owners hadn’t even officially listed it for sale yet, but once they found out who he was, I think they were just as excited as we were to make a deal. My condo got put on the market for rent and leased out to a young couple within days. It was bittersweet packing up my things, but it felt right. We felt right.

The moment I started moving my things in, I told Royal, “This man cave shit is dead.” Thankfully, he didn’t argue.

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