Page 15 of Dex

Iam nowtwo days away from being twenty-weeks pregnant. Things have taken a turn for the worse. I had a few cramps the other night and Lauren took me to the hospital. They monitored the baby and she or he is fine. The Doctor said that it happens with some women. But, if it happens again or I start bleeding then I need to go back to the hospital right away. Wendy pulled the mother duty and takes care of me on a daily basis now, so does Lauren when she can between work and taking care of little Alfie. I have almost dialed Dex’s number so many times to tell him about the baby, but I have somehow stopped myself.

We have texted and talked on the phone and our relationship is growing. I miss seeing him, but hearing his voice soothes the ache a little. He hasn’t asked to meet me again since the last time he asked while I was outside the hospital, the day Liam found out about the baby. He has been trying, I will give him that. The flirting has escalated big time. He often asks me what I am wearing and yes, I lie to him. I tell him I am in something sexy or something I used to wear, rather than the big ugly-arse t-shirts I have been wearing. He sent me an ‘ab’ pic the other day, something to tie me over, he said, until I get to see and touch the real thing. Of course, I didn’t send a photo back to him to add to his ‘spank bank’- much to his disappointment. He just jokes and says he will picture me in something he would like to see me in. Bloody pervert.

It is just after ten o’clock in the morning and I am in bed watchingAmerican Horror Story. This show freaks me the fuck out, but it is awesome and sick on so many levels. I lift the bowl of grapes off my bedside table and place them on my belly, my baby bump supplying the perfect table for my snack. My phone and the TV remote control are next to me. Easy and lazy day. My phone rings, so I glance down to the iPhone beside me and smile when I see Dex’s name on the screen.

“Hey.”

“Hey, babe. What are you up to?” he asks.

“I’m good; chilling in bed watching someAmerican Horror Story. Watching Matt Bomer and Lady Gaga have a foursome. Kinda sexy in a freaky kinda way,” I state.

“Nice. I love a bit of freaky,” he chuckles through the phone.

“Pervert. So, what are you up to?”

“Nothing. Just sitting on the sofa in Castle Ink watchingOur Girlon BBC iPlayer. You get to ogle that Matt bloke and I get to ogle Michelle Keegan. She is rather tasty,” he explains.

“Eh, she’s okay, I would do her.” I bite my thumb nail to stop me from laughing out loud. One of Dex’s biggest fantasies has always been to have a threesome with two girls. In my desperate times I even offered him to have one with me and a friend, but he always turned me down, saying that he would never share me.

“Fuck, my dick just chubbed out. I can so picture me, you and Michelle Keegan fucking on our bed. Damn, now that is one sexy image.” I didn’t miss his use of ‘our bed’.

“See, bloody pervert. So, how is the studio? How are my boys doing?”

“Yourboyis doing great. Missing his girl.”

“Okay, fine. How are Jay and Liam?”

“Liam is great. Amazing actually. Penny is pregnant, she’s fifteen weeks.” I swallow the lump in my throat when I hear the excitement in his voice. Dex is truly happy for them.

“I heard. Penny text me. I am happy for them,” I force out. They get to enjoy their baby growing together. I need to pull on my big girl knickers and tell him. Face the possibility that he will hate me for keeping it from him.

“Yeah, it is awesome. Sorry to cut this short, Ads, but a group of lads just walked in, so I had better go and help my brother and Luke out. Can I phone you later tonight? Maybe we can try something sexy and naughty over the phone.” His voice drops low and sexy. I love when he does that, he used to make my pussy clench before the baby, but now the pregnancy hormones are kicking in big time. I feel like I am permanently turned on when I think of speaking to Dex.

“Yeah, that’s fine. I have no plans. I am just a lonely girl watching Netflix.”

“You are never alone, babe. We will talk tonight. Later.”

“Later.” We hang up.

I need to tell him.

I have to tell him.

I need a pep talk from Lauren. I need her to gear me up to tell Dex tonight. Maybe I can text him to come here and I can tell him face to face. I pick up my phone and text Lauren.

Me: Can you come over after work? I need some advice.

Lauren: Of course. Be there by five.

Me: Thank you. <3

I tinker around my small flat - not that it needs cleaning. It’s only me here, even when Lauren and Joe bring Alfie over, there is never a real mess. I get a twinge in my lower belly and I stop in my tracks. Fuck, not again. I slowly walk over to the couch and sit down. I am holding my breath, praying that it was just a one-off this time. But no such luck, the pain comes again. I hold my belly with both hands, praying my baby is going to be okay. I scoot forward and I feel wetness between my legs. My heart stops in my chest.

NO!! This cannot be happening. I have been careful. I have been taking things easy. I can’t lose my baby. I walk to my bathroom and pull my leggings and knickers down, the sight before me makes my heart stop in my chest.

There is a small patch of blood in my knickers. My nose burns and the tears fall freely down my cheeks, dropping onto my thighs. I take a few deep breaths and open the bottom draw and pick out a sanitary towel. Lucky for me, I always keep clean knickers in my bottom draw for when my periods hit in the middle of the night. I have a quick wash and change and walk back out into the living room. The pain is a dull ache in my lower belly and it is scaring the shit out of me. I pick up my phone off the arm of the sofa and find Lauren’s number.

“Hey, babe. How-” I cut her off.

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