Page 3 of Dex

(3 & a bit years later)

Sittingin my private room at our new Castle Ink studio, I sketch up the design a young lad wants tattooed on him. It’s his first tattoo and it is a bloody big one. He’s having a rib piece done, in memory of his grandfather that brought him up. Most people start off with a small design, but I guess he doesn't do small. To be fair, it is a pretty awesome design. The drawing takes my mind off of things. Well, not only things but someone. She still refuses to talk to me, but I know my twat of a brother is in contact with her. I don’t think he has seen her but they text and talk on the phone. It kills me that she won't talk to me or return my texts. The day after Liam and Penny’s BBQ, Addy came into the studio and packed up her room and left. Me and Jay got into a punch up because I tried to stop her, but he got in the way. He told me that I didn’t deserve her and that I should let her go. He is right in the fact that I don’t deserve her, but fuck it if I don’t miss her. Not having Addy here has made me see my feelings for her are deeper than I wanted to admit. The night she left the studio, I hit the drinkhard, downing nearly a whole bottle of whiskey. I caught a taxi to her house and things went down.

“Addy, open the door. Now,” I demand, hammering on the door. My fists should hurt but the whiskey has numbed my body. The sun is setting behind me, but the warmth is still in the air. I bang on the door again and wait for her to answer. “ADDY!” I shout. Seconds tick by until she finally swings the door open. Her scowl making her look downright sexy as sin.

“What the fuck, Dex?” she yells at me.

“We need to talk,” I slur out. She looks over my shoulder, probably trying to look for my car or bike.

“I got a taxi here. Now let me in.” She sighs and steps back, letting me into her house. I haven’t been in here for a few years, not since I walked out on her that night, the night I truly fucked up with her. She has changed the decor a little since the last time. It suits her.

“Why are you here, Dex?” she says from behind me. I spin around to face her and drink in the sight of her standing there looking at me. She is wearing a black singlet vest top with a faded moon on the front and some jean shorts. Her hair is up in a ponytail and her face is completely clean of any make-up she was wearing earlier.

“I’m sorry for being a cock earlier. I can’t seem to stop hurting you can I? I’m fucked up, Ads.” I know I push her away but it hurts me to be close to her, I always feel as if I am cheating on Fiona; even after three years.

“Then don’t hurt me, Dex. It’s simple,” she whispers. I shake my head and take a step back. Addy follows my movements and closes the gap between us. I close my eyes and will her away, even though I know it won’t work. I know that when I open my eyes I will see her deep green gaze that sucks me in every time. I feel her hand on my chest and I can’t stop myself from flinching. Her gasp forces me to open my eyes. Our gazes lock and all I see in her eyes is pain. Pain that I put there… again. Fucking hell. I shake my head again and wrap my arms around her slim waist, pulling her against me. Her perfect round tits press against my chest and I can’t stop my hands from seeking out her perfectly round arse. I lower my head and take her mouth with mine. Her warm, lush lips taste amazing. Just like I remember. I suck on her bottom lip and she opens for me, giving my tongue entrance to glide along with hers, tasting her.

“Dex,” she moans, breaking the kiss. I pull my head back and look down at her. Her eyes shine, filled with lust and love for me. She looks at me like she thinks I can give her the world, but I know in my heart I can’t. But at this moment, the heavy whiskey is racing through my blood, making me make these fucked up decisions. I know I should let her go but I can’t, not yet. I need to taste her, feel her.

“I need you.” I don’t wait for her reply. I pick her up and walk us to her bedroom. Our mouths locked in a heated kiss. Fuck, this chick can kiss. I walk into her room, not bothering to close the door- we are here alone. No fucker will walk in on us. I lay her on the bed and waste no time stripping her naked. She is laid out for me, all soft and colourful; her tattoos covering her one arm and half the other. Fuck me, that is different. Sexy as fuck.

“You had your nipples done,” I state. She nods her head and bites her lip. I fucking love them. I loved having mine done. Fiona loved them too. Guilt smacks me in the chest and I take a step back. Fuck, will this ever stop?

“Dex. We don’t have to,” she says, uncertainty evident in her voice. I shake away the thoughts of my dead wife. She is gone, but I am here. So why the fuck can’t I move on?

“I’m good.” Again, I don’t wait for a reply. I strip out of my clothes, loving the way Addy’s eyes follow my every move, even though at times I am seeing two of her as the alcohol blurs my vision. I climb up her body and don’t bother with foreplay, I am pretty fucking sure she is ready for me. I lean down and kiss her again and slam into her in one hard thrust. She cries out my name. I pull out almost completely and slam back into her. In and out I move. Her fucking pussy is like soaking wet silk around my cock. The sound of our breathing fills the room, the noise of her juices spurring me on.

“Oh God, Dex. Harder. Yes!” she screams. My pounding never letting up, I put her legs over my shoulder and I slide in deeper. I fuck her harder and her cries and pleads fill the bedroom. I feel the tingle start at the bottom of my spine and I know I am close to coming, so I release one of her legs and drop my hand to her clit and start rubbing. I need to her to come; I am that fucking close.

“Fuck, Addy you need to come. I am so fucking close.” I feel her walls clamp down on my dick and it sets off my own orgasm. I can feel the heat from her all over me as my cum fills her up. I collapse down beside her and close my eyes, trying to calm my breathing down. I can hear Addy’s heavy breathing next to me, but I don’t have it in me to look at her. The guilt comes back tenfold and I bolt from the bed. I don’t look at her as I get dressed, but I can feel her eyes on me and hear the odd sniffling. I know I have made her cry, yet again. My heart feels like it is being crushed in my chest.

“I can’t keep doing this, Dex.” I nod my head and pull my boots on. I get where she is coming from. I always seem to hurt her.

“I’m sorry. I drank too much and I used you.”

“How? I wanted this as much as you, Dex.”

“I needed to forget and you were there. Easy.” I hear her suck in a breath and I feel like the biggest cockhead going.

“Get out.” She doesn’t scream or shout. Her voice is filled with hurt and disappointment and it makes another crack in my heart appear. I freeze and look up at her. Her top is back on and tears are streaming down her face. I take a step forward, for what reason I don’t know. “GET OUT. I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU EVER AGAIN.” She screams at me this time and her words gut me. Her face will forever be embedded in my head. The look on her face will fucking haunt me forever. She stands from the bed and marches to me, when she reaches me she pushes at my chest. “OUT.” I stumble back but catch my balance. She keeps hitting me until I snatch her wrists.

“Enough.” She rips her hands out of my hold and stares at me with pure hatred in her eyes. “I’ll go. I’m so fucking sorry, Ads.”

“Do not ever call me that again.” I nod my head, feeling the pain from her words. Again, guilt and regret seep into my body. I turn to leave and I hear her follow me through the house, to the front door where I pause with my hand on the door handle.

“I know that you won't ever believe me, but I am sorry. I should never have come here. I will stay away. You deserve a bloke that will love you. A man that will always put you first and that man isn’t me.”

“I meant what I said, Dexter. Don’t ever come here again. I never want to see your face again. You have hurt me for the last time.” That last part of my heart splinters and I walk out of her house.

That wasthe last time I had seen Addy. It has been months and I know that Jay says she is okay, but I want to see for myself. Addy has kept her distance from us, not even Jay knows where she moved to. That in itself fucking kills me. I hate not knowing where she is. I stalk her Facebook and Instagram account like crazy, but there is nothing with any clues on there about where she is or if she is okay. It is bittersweet when I think of the last time I saw Addy. I hurt her so badly that night and I hate myself for it, but I also get so fucking hard thinking about how her body reacted to mine. I push down on my dick in my tight jeans as Luke walks in. Luke is our new tattooist. Our work load almost tripled so we needed another set of hands, and I had met Luke at a tattoo convention in London a few years ago. He is epic with the shading but he also is a piercer. So he took over Addy’s clients. He is the same age as me and is a pretty cool bloke. No wife, no kids, so it was a simple move to Bell Harbour.

“Hey, man. How’s it going?” he asks while helping himself to a mug of coffee.

“Same old shit, different day. You know how it goes. Hey, is Dave coming in today to get that back piece finished?” Dave is an old army vet who is having a massive fucking Spitfire tattoo on his back. That man has a huge pain threshold. After four sittings it is almost complete.

“Yeah. He should be here by ten. Things still the same with you and Jay?” He knows the feud with me and Jay. I drank too much one night and spilled the whole fucking tin of beans to him.

“Yeah. Fucker just needs to let me talk to her on his phone. I know she will answer me if I call her from his phone.”

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