Page 6 of Dex

“Ads, pl-” I cut him off.

“I said NO, Dex. For fucks sake will you listen to me? I need time. I need to sort my head out. I can’t do that with you being a moody twat all the time. Just know that I am safe and I am okay. I have a new job and a new place to live. If and when I come back, it will be on my terms. You don’t get to make demands with my life, Dex, I am not yours. Simple.” I am breathing heavy by the time I finish bitching him out, but fuck, it feels good to say it. My body starts to shake and the tears threaten to fall. How many more tears am I going to cry over this bloke?

“Okay. You promise me that you’re safe?”

“I am.” I need him off the phone. I wipe away the stray tears and clear my throat.

“Fucking shit. Ads, please don’t cry. I hate it when you cry.” So much for not letting him know how much he is affecting me.

“You made her cry, you fucking cock. Give me the damn phone,” I hear Jay demand.

“I have to go.” I end the call before either of them can reply. I throw my phone on the sofa and press my head onto the window, the glass cold against my skin. Fucking men. Twats, the lot of them.

I have no clue how long I cry for but my front door opening and closing makes me turn to see who has just come into my apartment.

“Bitch, where are you?” I take a deep breath and answer my new friend, Lauren.

"Living room," I yell back. I turn to see her walk into my living room. She stands about my height- which is five-five- and her strawberry blonde hair stops just at her shoulders. This girl is epic beyond all proportions. She has no filter; you either love her or hate her. Me, I love this girl.

“Who the fuck do I need to cut?” she states when she sees my puffy face and tear streaked cheeks. I shake my head and chuckle. “I mean it, Addy. Who made you cry, babe? I will cut off cock and balls if I need to.”

“Jay phoned.” I take a deep breath. “Dex snatched the phone off him and begged me to come home. But before you start, I told him to ‘fuck off’ in a roundabout kind of way. You know why I can’t go home. I need to know for sure how he feels.”

“But babe, you won’t know until you talk to him face to face. I am pissed at the man, but he needs to know how you feel. How he made you feel at the time. Every fucking time. He is a cunt bag, I know, but he needs to know about this.” I sigh, because I know she is right. Dammit.

“I know. Bollocks.” I sit on the sofa and Lauren sits next to me.

“This can’t stay hidden forever you know.”

“I know,” I say again. Lauren works in advertising and is married to a fantastic man called Joseph, and they have the sweetest little boy ever. His name is Alfie and he’s four. I met Lauren when I pierced Joe’s dick. Lauren has a thing for pierced men; just like me. Again, the thought of Dex makes my chest hurt. I take a deep breath and swallow down the ache.

“Come here.” She pulls me to her but I wince in pain when she touches my new tattoo. “What the hell?” She nudges me forward a little to see what I have had done. “Holy shit, that is beautiful. When the fuck did you have that done?”

“Yesterday,” I tell her as she takes in the details.

“Okay, I get the tattoo gun. Dex, right?” I nod my head and bite my lip. “The family tree… No clue, babe; or the three hearts.” I take a deep breath and explain.

“The family tree is to remind me that I do have a family. Not blood, but a family nonetheless. As for the three hearts, they represent Jay, Dex and me. I have left room so more hearts can be added in later.” I look down at my knotted hands. Future hearts will be added, but I’m not sure when.

“Well, babe, it is lush. Now, how about we watch some films and have some wine? Haha, well, I will drink the wine for you.”

“Ummm, don’t you need to get home to Joe and Alfie?”

“Nope. The man is taking the boy to his gran’s, and like fuck am I going there unless there is a legitimate reason to go. I am not a fan of self torture.” She winks at me. I know that Lauren only likes her mother-in-law in very small doses, which makes me laugh. The things that Lauren says…

“Okay, bitch, let’s get this film-a-thon going. I need some girl time before the beasts come here to pick me up.” I giggle and sit back, careful of my sore tattoo.

Lauren makes things easier, because she helps me forget the pain. But she also helps me understand the things running through my head.

I will get through this huge bump in the road if it kills me. They say ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’, well I have to firmly believe in that at this moment in time.

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