Page 3 of Jay

“That is Dex all over. But he loves you both and he would do anythingforyou.”

“Yeah, he would. Took him long enough.” She winks at me. I shake my head and pull up outside Castle Ink. This place makes my chest swell with pride. It took us years to get where we wanted to be, but we took that big risk and it’s paying off. I turn the car off and jump out. I quickly get Phoebe out of the car, leaving Addy to get her bag. Phoebe is cradled against my chest as we walk into the studio. Dex is standing by the reception desk, talking to the bubble twins that I have to work on today. He looks up when he hears the door open. His smile spreads across his face and he walkstowardsus.

“How’s my baby girl?” He looks at Phoebe, and it’s as if she senses him or recognises his voice as she stirs in my arms. I never would have thought that Dex would get to be a father. But seeing him now with Phoebe in his arms, seeing the smile on his face, makes me think that in time we will all get to where we need to be. After Fiona died, none of us thought Dex would find himself again. But look at him now, holding his daughter while his girlfriend watches with a huge, beautiful smile on her face. I always knew that he would let his heart open up to Addy. Unfortunately, it took a long fucking time and plenty of heartbreaking moments for them to get together, to be able to share their loving smiles with the precious little girl they made. I want what they have. Someday I will get it, though maybe not anytime soon, because the girl I have feelings for has none for me. Rachel is stringing me along and like the muppet I am, I’m letting herdoit.

“Jaaaaaay,” the high-pitched, whiney voice snaps me out of my thoughts. Fucking shit, I forgot about the bubble twins. I shake my head at my brother as he smirks at me over Phoebe’s head. Fucker. I plaster a fake smile on my face and turn to see them both standing there, looking like a mirror image of each other. Everything - and I meaneverything -matches. It is weirdasfuck.

“Girls. So, what are we doing today?”Iask.

“Weeell, we want a unicorn on our hip. Both exactly the same. Like us,” she says cheerfully. Grating. Nerves. Heaven help me. I hear Dex and Addy chuckle behind me. I turn my head to look at them and Addy coughs to hide herlaughter.

“I will remember this.” I scowl at them. “Okay, let’s go to my room and get this started.” I turn and walk away, not waiting for their response, not waiting to see if they follow me. I walk past Luke and the fucker has the gall to smile at me. “Oh, I will remember this, too. Prick,” I promise him as I walk towards my room. The annoying clacking of the girls’ heels follow behind me, but not as annoying as Luke’s laughter filling the room. I need to find a way to get backathim.

Something that will be the cockblock of thedecade.

That will piss him thehelloff.

Oh yes. IT.IS.ON.

I push open the door to the room that will trap me with the bubble twins for about an hour or more. Their giggles fill my room and I groan to myself. This is going to be the longest hour ofmylife.

rachel

Icheckmy phone for the hundredth time, but the screen is still blank. Nothing. No calls or texts from Jay. It has been two weeks since I walked out of his place. The last thing I told him was to call me when he grew up, but he hasn’t called, and I hate how I’m feeling. I hate him for making me feel like this. Why the hell couldn’t he just leave things the way they were? We shagged and that was it. I can’t give him more, even though I know that’s what he wants. It just isn’t in me. I fucking love my life - I love the freedom. I work my arse off, so I have the right to party hard. But Jay’s doesn’t want that, he wants to settle down and have what Penny and Liam has. And what his brother, Dex, has with Addy. I don’t ever see myself as a mum. Don’t get me wrong, I love Penny’s kids, but Penny is a perfect mother to them, even though Knox isn’t hers byblood.

I will leave the motherly shittoher.

I never had a mother growing up, or a father for that matter. My parents left when I was eleven and they didn’t look back. They wanted the freedom to do whatever the fuck they wished, and their plans didn’t include a small child. I was dumped off at my aunt and uncle's house. They took me in but I never really felt a part of the family. I did my own thing growing up, stuck to myself most of my teenage life. I did great in school and then when I got to college. I knew from a young age that I wanted to help people, and my parents leaving me pushed me even harder. They made me feel unwanted. Not good enough. So, I decided I would help people. That is why I became a pediatrician. I fucking love my job, but I hate it at thesametime.

To see children that can’t get better is heartbreaking. It’s another reason why I can’t ever have children. The pain would be way too much to cope with, and I never want to feel like that. I’ve had enough people leave me, so why set myself up for moreheartbreak.

My parents left me. Jodi fucking died and left me. My first and second boyfriends left me for other women. So honestly, what was the point? I see what Penny has with Liam and the kids, and my heart aches a little for what they have, but then my senses come back to me and I see the heartache in the future. I try not to, but I can’t stop my head and heart battling with eachother.

“Doctor Cullen.” Someone calls my name, pulling me from my thoughts. I snap my head to the direction of the voice and see Nurse Carol walking closer to me. I smile at her and wait for her toreachme.

“Hey, you looked deep in thought. Are you okay?” she asks me, concern lacing hervoice.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just thinking about Lacey in room five,” I explain. She doesn't need to know the thoughts in my head. Lacey is a sweet girl who came in for a liver transplant. She’s doing better these days and her body is accepting the liver perfectly. It was touch and go for a while before theoperation.

“She was looking good this morning. So, do you have plans for tonight?” she casually asks, while writing in a patient's notes. I do have plans. I plan on going home and getting all dolled up, then hitting the town to get some guy to take me home and make meforget.

“Nope. No plans at all. Catch you tomorrow, Carol,” I say and walk away. Once I get to the staff lounge, I push the door open and walk over to my locker. Picking up my handbag, I quickly shut my locker and then make my way off the ward. My car sits in my allocated spot, so it’s easy and quick togetto.

The drive home takes me thirty minutes on a good day, which today is, thank God. Pulling up outside my house, I see Penny and baby Isla waiting for me. I can’t keep the smile from forming on my face. I love this girl and her kids. Connie, Knox, and Isla mean the world to me, but I couldn’t see myself as a mother. I don’t think I will ever settle down. The thought of Jay not being in my life makes my chest ache a little, but not enough to make me changemyways.

“Hey, ladies,” Igreetthem.

“Hey, girl. How was work?” Penny asks. I take Isla’s bag off her shoulder and we walk up to my front door. Once I unlock it, we walk into my living room. Penny sits on the sofa with Isla in her lap. She is getting so big. This is the point where any woman would get all baby-broody, seeing a new mum and baby interacting, but me...nothing. This is why I like to keep men at arm’s length and in an easy routine. They get to shag me however they want, and we both get what we need. This thing with Jay was an attempt to see if I could handle more, and believe me I tried, but I simply can’t do it. I see how everyone around me handles their relationships, and I feel no yearning to be a part of a couple. But for some strange reason, my body needs a man’s touch, it craves Jay Castle’s body. That man can do amazing things with his dick and his tongue, and my body loved it – it’s the only reasonIstay.

“Work was the same. We have a darling little girl who is doing amazing with her liver transplant. I’m so happy for her and her family. It was touch and go for a bit but then she started responding really well.” I smile at her as I take myshoesoff.

“That’s great news, Rach. I hate it when the children get ill. It isn’t fair.” Bless her heart. Penny was always the soft one of our group. “It would break my heart doing what you do every day.” She leans in and kisses the top ofIsla’shead.

“So, what did you pop over for? Any reason?” I have no clue why I asked, because I know why she’s here. Jay tells his brother, Dex, and best friend, Liam, everything. They’re like a group of old ladies at coffeemorning.

“Leave it, Pen. He hasn’t called me, either, so there isn’t any reason to hash thisout,okay.”

“You two need to have your heads banged together. When are you going to see what a good bloke you have right in frontofyou?”

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