Page 32 of Jay

But this Castle needs to go and see his royal kitten. She needs to know that what we have is important. Fuck time and patience. We live in the here and now. Tomorrow maynevercome.

cassie

The day startedout great with my parents, we had our traditional Christmas breakfast, followed by opening the presents. Then we chilled until my mother had finished cooking the Christmas feast, and a feast it was. She always went overboard, but whatever we didn’t eat, she would take to the homeless shelter just outside of town. I swear she overcooked on purpose. My mother is one of the most kind-hearted people you will ever meet. Everyone’s needs come before her own. We always sat in the living room and watched Christmas movies after our dinner, before my parents went and delivered the leftovers. I normally go with them, but I got my period this morning, and I am suffering. I have always suffered, ever since my first period. My parents took me to the best doctors, but they couldn’t find anything medically wrong with my body to cause so much pain. My parents dropped me off back at my house when the pain started. I like to be in my own bed when Iamill.

The pain and the overwhelming feeling of missing Jay is playing on my head and heart. I am very emotional when I am on a period; my dad normally stays out of the way. One minute I am calm, the next I am either crying or losing my temper. I’m in a state of an emotional rollercoaster at the moment. I miss Jay, but my head and heart are at war. I feel like I am two different people with two completely different minds. One side is telling me to go all in with Jay, but the other side of me is telling me to pull back, out of fear that he will hurt me. Being around Jay Castle is intoxicating. He always makes me feel like I am his only thought when he is lookingatme.

I dig my phone from under my pillow, and see a textfromJay.

Jay:Can Icomeover?

DoI want him to come over? No. Yes. Yes, I do.I hold the phone above my head and send him myreply.

Me:YES!

Not even five seconds later,he replies, telling me he is on his way. The butterflies take flight in my belly. I smile to myself and stare at my phone, which seems to have a mind of its own as it slips from my hand and narrowly missesmyhead.

“Damned ninja phone,” I say totheroom.

Note to self: DO NOT HOLD PHONE ABOVE HEAD WHENLYINGDOWN

I know I should take more painkillers, but my legs feel like jelly, and I’m lying down. I need them, though. I take a deep breath and slowly climb out of my bed. I was so happy when my parents brought me home, there is no way I can drive like this. Slowly, I make my way to the kitchen to get a bottle of ice-cold water. I always keep some painkillers in the cutlery draw, easy access. I don’t worry about opening the door for Jay; he has a key. Thank God for the small things. He wanted to cook me dinner one night, so I gave him a spare key. He had made us an amazing meal, with candlelight everywhere. The special added touch was the paw print balloons around the room. I fell a little more in love with him thatnight.

I pop the little tablet into my mouth and take a mouthful of water as a new wave of pain hits me. My knees buckle beneath me, but I don’t hit the floor like I expect to. I feel arms wrap around me and liftmeup.

“I got you, babe.” Jay. Oh, my Jay. My very own superhero. I bury my head in his neck and breathe him in as he carries me to my bedroom. God, he smells so good. I am laid gently on the bed, and the thin blanket is pulledoverme.

“Thanks, babe,” I tell him. I glance up and see how scared he looks. Fear is clear inhiseyes.

“What’s wrong? Why did you collapse in the kitchen?” Worry etches his voice. I hate knowing that I am making him feel like this, but there isn't much I can do about Mother Nature. Jay sits on the bed nexttome.

“Sorry I scared you. I’m fine. I got my period this morning. I know it’s gross to be talking about with you, sorry,” I whisper, laying my hands on his thigh. I pat the bed next to me and Jay stands. He rips off his jacket and his plaid shirt, his jeans quickly following, and my breath hitches. Why does this man have to be so flipping hot? He quickly removes his socks and boots, kicking his jeans off his feet, then slowly slips into the bed next to me. We both lay there, face to face. Him wearing nothing but his black boxers and me in my Batman pajamas. I can’t stop the smile that creeps on my face, seeing him bare-chested in my bed. Which is strange, because this is not the first time. See, my head's all messed up. Bloodyemotions.

“What’s withthetext?”

“Straight to the point, huh?” I joke. Jay lifts an eyebrow at me in silent question. “Fine. I knew this would happen eventually. Just let it be known to the universe that I am an emotional wreck when I am on a period. That needs to be added to the record,” Istate.

“Okay, I get you. You’re a crazy lady when you are bleeding. Good to know. Now spill it, Kitten.” I take a deep breath and unleash my baggageonhim.

“As I said, I get emotional when I’m on my period, my head and heart go to war. I kept thinking that maybe we are moving too fast, but then my heart kicks in and tells me that I’m falling for you. It scares the ever-loving Tron out of me, Jay. I was hurt before; my ex-boyfriend,Dale.”

“Go on.” His eyes are soft as they take in my worried face. I am scared that he will think differentlyofme.

“Never,” hegrowls.Huh?

“What?” Oh no, I didn’t.DidI?

“I would never think differently ofyou,baby.”

“Bugger. Okay. So, I met Dale when I was in school, and he was the cool kid, ya know. Everyone wanted to be his friend. All the girls wanted to date him, and the boys wanted to be in his little group. No one ever took notice of me, until one day, he did. We dated for a few years. At first it was great, I even lost my virginity to him. Actually, he took all myfirsts.

“Baby, I really don’t want to picture you with any other men. So,moveon.”

“Like I have to try not to picture you with the many girls you have shagged?” Ooooh, my bitchy side is comingthrough.

“Stop. Don’t start an argument that you can’t finish,” hegrowlsout.

“Fine. Moving on. Like I said, the first few years were great, until they weren’t.” I take a deep breath, keeping my eyes on the canvas on the wall behind him. “He started mentally abusing me, until that wasn’t enough. The odd slap here or there turned into full, close-fisted punches. The last beating he gave me landed me in the hospital. I had three cracked ribs, a broken wrist, and a concussion. My parents made me leave him after that night. He was good at what he did, Jay. We couldn’t press charges because he used one of the girls he was sleeping with as an alibi.” Jay bolts up and leans on his elbow, looking down at me, fury seeping from every pore on his perfect body. The fury that has no right being attached to such a God-likespecimen.

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