Page 39 of Jay

“Cass.” I whisperhername.

“Don’t.” She takes a deep breath and lifts her tear-filled eyes to mine. “I hope that you are both truly happy.” She shakes her head and walks back into the house, taking my crushed heart with her. I want to yell, scream, but I know it will do no good. My anger builds and I take it out on Rachel. The one woman that has truly fucking destroyed everything for me. Even as I think those words, I know that she isn’t one-hundred-percent toblame.

“WHAT THE FUCK? Why are you even here, Rach? Screwing me over wasn’t enough for you. You had to come back and kill the one thing that meant everythingtome.”

“Well, if she meant that much to you, Jay, then why the fuck did you let her walk away? God, you are still the fucking same. Everything is about you. Not about what otherpeoplewant.”

“ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?” I scream at her. “You lead me on for fucking months. You lead me to believe that were going to be something more, but you knew all along that you just wanted to fuck. You used me for sex. You even knew I was falling in love with you. It wasneverabout me, Rachel. It wasalwaysabout you.” I put my hands on my hips, taking deep breaths, trying to calm myself down. I close my eyes and lift my head up to the sky. Fuck me, what haveIdone?

“Bro.” I hear Dex’s voice. I breathe out slowly and open my eyes to see all my family and friends standing behind Rachel. Rachel is crying, but I show her no more attention. I am so fucking donewithher.

“How could you, Rachel?” Penny asks. I take a look at my family, and see a shit-ton of emotions. A pissed-off Liam is holding a crying Penny. Addy looks murderous. Dex looks like he wants to come to me, but he knows that Ineedtime.

“How? Because she is a selfish fucking cunt. Always about Miss-Priss.”

“Addy,” Dexgrowls.

“Fine. I’m going to see if Cassie is alright.” She looks right at me, disappointment clear on her face. “Someone has to, since you fucked up.” I feel the jab in the chest. I lift my hand and try to rub the ache away, but it doesn’t work. She is right: I did fuck up. I watch as Dex takes Addy’s elbow and leads her back through the house. Knowing that they are going to my girl eases a little of the ache, but I know that it should be me going to check on her, not them. I shake my head and look towards the floor. I have let everyone down by not standing up to Rachel. Why did I let her fuck with my head again? I am a total fuckingwanker.

I leave everyone standing there and make my way into the kitchen, where I reach for a bottle of Jack, and then make my way back outside to the bottom of the garden, to drink my sorrows away. I will let us have tonight. We need time to clear our heads before we make any big decisions, and by big decisions I mean Cassie breaking up with me. Like fuck am I letting that happen. I sit on the bench overlooking the water, and bring the bottle to my lips, taking a giant-arse gulp. The liquid burns on its way down, but I welcome it. I need to feel something other than the pain my heart is radiating at the moment. I sit back and lean my head against the back of the bench. I sense someone sitting next to me, but I don’t open my eyestosee.

“Pass me that?” Luke’s voice breaks the silence. He takes the bottle from my hand and I hear him take back a mouthful. Luke is as blunt as they come, so I know I am in for an earful from him. Luke has been a great addition to Castle Ink, and both Dex and me see him as one of us. He’s like a brother now. He packs the big punches when we need him to, and for that I am fucking thankful to have him in our lives. I pray to God that the girl who hooks him, can handle him. She needs to be astronggirl.

“You can piss and moan about what happened tonight, but you fucked up, and you know it. Now, what you must do is make things right with Cassie. She is too good a girl for you to let her get away. So, like in the big movie gesture, I suggest that you, my friend, get thinking about how to make it up to your girl. I’m going to be here while you down that bottle, and I will make sure you get home safe.” He hands me the bottle, and I get to work finishing it. The last thing I remember before I black out, is seeing Cassie crying, and my chest feeling her pain all overagain.

cassie

It has beentwo weeks since Jay broke my heart. Two weeks, and I haven’t seen him. He has called most days, and text me every day. Sometimes more than once, but I can’t bring myself to see him. Seeing his handsome face will only kill me more. I am like the Ironhide in Transformers, dying a slow, ash-filled death. I threw myself into work. I even hired a new girl. Her name is Lila and she is nineteen years old. She is amazing, and she clicked with Chris and me. I have seen Addy a few times since that night, and even Penny, who came over to apologize for Rachel’s behaviour. But to be honest, Rachel is an adult, and she should be here saying sorry, not her best friend. And yes, I toldPennythat.

Chris and Lila are out the back grooming a big-arse Old English Sheepdog. Glad it is them and not me. My phone dings and I see Jay’s name on the screen. He has sent me a picture message again. He has been doing this once a day. Sending me little images of hearts and flowers. Cute puppies and other dogs. The man is relentless. I open the picture message because I am a sucker for a romance, even though it is romance that gets your heart broken. The picture opens, and a smile and a little giggleescapes.

The picture is of an arrow with a tiny paw print dangling from a piece of tethered rope. I love it, and it makes my heart melt. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him so much. I miss himsobloody much, like Ironman misses his beating heart. I sigh and lock my phone, dropping it back in my bag. I need to deal with the new orders we have coming in. Chris decided that the garden area that we keep the dogs in, needed an update. So, we ordered newequipment.

The bell above the door rattles, and I look up to see which customer just walked in. But my heart sinks when I see that it isn’t a customer. It’s her,Rachel Cullen, the girl who helped ruin my heart. I stand on unsteady feet, trying to make her see that I can take her on. I really can’t. I’m a lover, not afighter.

“What do you want,Rachel?”

“Oh, so you do know who I am?” She smirks at me. I swallow the lump forming in my throat. I bloody hate confrontation. I don’t do it unless I reallyneedto.

“Unfortunately. Now again, what doyouwant?”

“Nice place you have here. I suppose you get on well with other dogs, so it’s the perfect job for you. I can see why Jay wanted to play around with you a little.” I gasp and fight to hold the tears back. I steady myself on the desk in frontofme.

“Just go, Rachel. You won. Are you happy now?” She stares at me, unmoving and not saying a word. “JUST. GO!” I scream at her, my tears now roaming free down my face. My breathing is getting harder and harder. I can’t seem to catch my breath. Oh, God. Am I dying? Dying from a brokenheart.

“Stay the fuck away from Jay. We’re back together, and we don’t need a little mutt like you coming between us.” Black spots blur my vision, my breathing coming in quick pants. I don’t see Rachel leave, but I hear the bell going again. I close my eyes and pray that my breathing calms down. I lean forward on the desk again, and I feel my keys under my hand. The flight mode is kicking in. I pick up my keys, my bag, and run. I leave the salon, leave Chris yelling my name. I run to my car and start it, before peeling out of the small carpark in front of mysalon.

The tears never stop, but my breathing is slowing down. I driver faster than I normally do, my emotions forcing to me to be reckless. I stop at a red light and take the opportunity to take a deep breath, hoping it makes my lungs hurt less. I close my eyes and try to force the image of Jay and Rachel together. Naked, making love. I gag a little. The car behind me beeps, and I see that the light has turned to green. I drive off and make my way down to the beach to get some fresh air to clear my head. See things in a betterlight.

What I don’t see is the big lorry coming around the corner a little too fast. He slides into my lane, and I have no time to get out oftheway.

The lorry hits my car, and we flip. My body get slammed around with the force. Pain radiates through my whole body. My head hits the window, and I hear it shatter. The pain bounces around my head. The sound of crunching metal echoes around my ears. The jolting of limbs. It is all over in a few seconds, but it feels like hours. I blink my eyes open, and all I see in one eye is red, so I know I am bleeding. My seatbelt is keeping me from falling forward. I try to take note of what hurts, but nothing is clear in my head, everything seemsfoggy.

“Can you hear me?” A man’s voice comes from my side of the car. I try to answer, but nothing comes out. “The ambulance is on the way. Try to keep still, honey,” I hear him say, before everything fades toblack.

* * *

“Canshe hear me if I speak to her?” I hear voices, but I can’t see anyone. Why can’t I openmyeyes?

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