Page 41 of Jay

“Oh, baby girl, you know how to make my man blush.” He kisses Rich’s cheek and takes a hold of his hand. “Come on, handsome, we need to go and shag like rabbits and piss of the neighbours.” They walk out hand in hand, and my heart melts for them. Oh, damn these emotions! I have been crying on and off for days now. The simplest of things setting me off. I slowly settle into the couch and start watchingThe Night Shifton Netflix. I look through my phone while the TV plays. I pay no real attention to it, but I know I should because the last episode left us on acliffhanger.

I see a few messages from friends on my Facebook messenger, people wishing me a ‘get well soon’. I force myself to not look at Jay’s Facebook, to see if his relationship status has changed. I do click on Addy’s, though. I want to see little Phoebe. I know she is getting close to turning one, and that is a big birthday in a child’s life. There are a few new photos of her, and some of Addy’s new drawings. That girl can draw, but she doesn’t tattoo, just pierces. I may get a new piercing done, butwhere…

The doorbell rings and I groan. It is going to hurt to move. I go to get up, but the voice on the other side of the doorstopsme.

“Cassie, it’s Jay. I know you’re hurting so please don’t get up, but… please, let me come in.” The desperation in his voice breaks my resolve. Plus, Imisshim.

Stupidheart.

I take a deep breath and grip onto whatever courage I have to face the man that crushed me a few weeks back. “Come in, the door is open.” I lay back gently and adjust the pillow at my side. I close my eyes and breathe deep. The door opens and closes, causing my heart to skip a beat. He is here, like really here. I pray I can keep it together. I lift my gaze to the entrance of my living room and see him standing there in his signature clothes: black boots, dark blue jeans, and a plaid shirt. He looks as bad as I feel. Why does he look like he hasn’t been sleeping? Has Rachel kept him busy in thebedroom?

Bile rises up my throat and I close my eyes, willing it to go back down. I cough and my ribs scream in pain. I tense up and yelp a little at the pain. Jay is at my side inseconds.

“Are you okay? Do you need anything, Kitten?” I frown at the nickname that he gave me. It holds no emotional form for me anymore. The anger starts to sizzleinsideme.

“Don’t call me that. You don’t have the right anymore, Jay. Say what you have to say and leave.” Silence fills the room. After a few moments, I can’t take not looking at his handsome face. His skin is paler than normal, and he has big, dark circles under his eyes. His hair looks like he’s run his fingers through it a thousand times. Or Rachel has. I close my eyes and will the image to go away. He isn’t looking at me, but down at hiswrist.

“I’m sorry.” I barely hear him, he says is soquietly.

“For what exactly?” I probe. Fearing his nextwords.

“For everything. For hurting you. I was a knob for not standing up for you. I should have spoken up. I still can’t say exactly why I didn’t say anything. I love you, not her. But seeing her brought all these emotions back, and my little man-brain couldn’t cope.” I can’t stop the giggle that comes out at his ‘little man-brain’ comment. A small smile crosses his face, but it vanishes as soon as it appears. “I heard that Rachel came to see you the day of the crash.” I nodmyhead.

“Yes. She came to inform me of your newly formed relationship, and that I was to stay away from you. She all but called me a dog, and a plaything for you. I was stupid to run like I did, and in the state I was in. Answer me something, Jay?” He doesn't answer right away, he just stares at me, his eyes flicking over my facialinjuries.

“You can ask me anything and I will answer truthfully, babe. Shit,sorry.”

“Are you happy?” I hold my breath, waiting for his answer. I want him to be happy, even if he isn’twithme.

“How can you ask me that? How can I be happy when my girlfriend broke up with me and refuses to talktome?”

“I think you’re mistaken, Jay. You broke it off with me. You didn’t deny that you were going to get back together with Rachel. Even when she came to the salon and told me you were together, I never heard from you except for the texts with pictures. I don’t understand how you can be with one woman and still be texting me. You’re just hurting me more, Jay. Can’t youseethat?”

jay

“Fucking hell.I am not with Rachel,” I growl at her. I stand up and pace back and forth, running my fingers through my hair. What fucking game has Rachel been playing? She is fucking everything up. Her and Penny are fighting because Penny can see that she is hurting me and Cassie. She asked Rachel to leave and maybe see someone about her issues. She is out of my hair now, so I don’t care what happens to her. Don’t get me wrong, I wish her no ill health or pain, but she needs to be far awayfromus.

“But, she said that you were,” Cassie whispers from her seat on thecouch.

“Well, she fucking lied, didn’t she.” I know that I shouldn’t direct my anger at Cass, but fuck me sideways, she wouldn’t see me to let meexplain.

“She is messed up if she lied about this. Why would shedoit?”

“No ‘if’ about it, babe. She did lie. I will never be with her again. My heart only belongs to you. Never doubt that. I need you, Kitten, for now and always. And yes, I sound like a fucking chick, but to hell with it. And as to the ‘why’, Rachel has always had some personal issues, Penny told me not long after I started seeing her. I am not going to get into them because she doesn’t affect usanymore.”

“I’m not sure there is an ‘us’, Jay,” sheutters.

“Oh, there is an ‘us’, baby, and you know it. Rachel fucked us over, and so did I. I will never forgive myself for causing you all this pain, but I will make sure I spend the next ninety years making it up to you. We will have mini superheroes running all over the place, you’ll see.” I winkather.

“Jay-” I cutheroff.

"I'm not finished. It fucking killed me not to see you in the hospital. But when I turned up, you had a nerdy army standing there stopping me. Your dad, Chris and Rich was there blocking me from seeing you, but it was you mother's words that hit home. She told me I was causing you more pain by being there. They believed everything about Rachel, too, and I respect them for standing by you. But, babe, it made my heart break when I couldn't see for myself that youwereokay."

She looks at me with a hint of smile on her beautiful face and I smile at her, trying my best to assure her that things are okay and we will get through this big-arse bump intheroad.

“I know that you are into all this big, romantic gesture stuff, so I wentbig, baby. Be right back.” I rush out of the house and over to the car. Dex is sitting in the driving seat. Our smiles mirror each other’s as he climbs out of the car and walks around tomeetme.

“Howisshe?”

---