Page 40 of Taming Irish

“I think I’m starting to preferbrunettes.”

She smacks my leglightly.

“Plus,” I say, my tone more serious. “Even if ye do find thatsomeone special, ye really don’t know how many years ye’ll get withthem.”

“No. I guess youdon’t.”

I hate the frown that pulls at her lips, knowing I put it there. I know where her mind goes – to her ex. She’d made vows to the man, and no matter how miserable she may have been with him, I’m sure she’d still be with him if he hadn’t been such anasshole.

Jealousy stirs in the pit of my stomach. The man, whoever the hell he is, never deservedher.

We sit in silence for a time, but it’s not the awkward kind that makes me usually want to jump out of my skin. I’ve never been good at sitting still. It used to drive my parents insane, the way I’d constantly be moving, fidgeting, like I hadants in my pants, as my mom wouldsay.

But sitting here with Makena, there’s a sense of calm that I don’t usuallyhave.

“Ye mentioned yer mom,” I say, wanting to know more about her. Wanting to know everything that makes her who she is. “But ye haven’t talked about yerfather.”

She shrugs. “He left us when I was young. Started another family in a different state. I get the odd letter from him, but he’s never really been part of mylife.”

Despite the casualness in which she tells me, I know it must have had a major impact on her. Losing a parent always does. But having that parent leave you on purpose seems even worse than having them taken from you. Cillian and Owen went through it with their mom, and I know how difficult it was for them. It’s a betrayal of the worst kind - a parent leaving a child. And I realize that, in a way, I blame my own father for leaving, even though I know that his death wasn’t achoice.

ButIhave achoice.

By not marrying, not having kids, I’ll never be the asshole wholeaves.

Makena surprises me by reaching out and running her thumb across the creases in my brow. The touch is gentle, and the look in her eyes – filled with concern – takes my breathaway.

“What are youthinking?”

I take her hand and brush my thumb across herknuckles.

On a sigh, I say, “I hope ye find what ye’re lookingfor.”

And for the first time in my life, I actually wish I could be that person. But I know in the darkest parts of my soul, I can never be what sheneeds.

Her hand is soft in mine, and so much smaller. Fragile, and delicate, just like herheart.

Shit. What am Idoing?

I’m going to destroy thisgirl.

Or she’s going to destroy you,a voice chuckles softly in my head, like apremonition.

And it sets off all kinds of warning bells in my brain, scaring the shit out of me, because I know if I let myself, I could fall hard forher.

“We need to go back.” I say, pulling away and shifting onto the boat bench, then unlocking the oars. “There’s raincoming.”

She looks taken aback by my abruptness, and she frowns as she glances up at the sky. It’s still blue except for a few dark clouds in thedistance.

But I know how quickly they can come in, and we’ve drifted pretty far out. Plus, I need to get some space between us, get her back to Nora’s and forget about all those tempting curves that have teased and taunted me all day. Because they come with a price. One I’m not willing topay.

Coward, that voice in my headpresses.

Maybe. Or maybe I’m just not willing to be the asshole I know I’ll be if I do the things my cock is urging me to. I’ve never had a white knight complex. Not like Owen. But Makena brings out something in me. A protectiveness I haven’t felt before – even if it means protecting her frommyself.

I row the boat back in silence, ignoring the small frowns Makena keeps giving me. Not that I blame her. My mood has taken a more pensive turn, one I’m not used to. I usually leave the brooding to Cillian, and the deep thinking toOwen.

“I think you’re right,” Makena says, glancing up at the dark clouds that have moved in, and shivering. “It’s going torain.”

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