Page 65 of One More Song

“I miss them too. Maybe you can write them a letter, tell them that?”

“Is that what you did?”

I shake my head. “Not yet. But it’s a good idea. Let’s write them a note together.”

Cadence brightens right up at that suggestion. She reaches for the notepad that is always on the counter and flips to a blank page. As she does, a sheet of paper falls from it.

Leaning over, I pick it up, tensing as I unfold it.

It’s Ash’s handwriting. It’s lyrics to a song.

“Mommy,” Cadence says. “It’s a note, to you. It says ‘Dear Ember, the first time I her … hear ….’ Hmm I don’t know this word.”

She hands me the notebook, and I read the sentence out loud. “Heard. The first time I heard,” I start, but then I stop, blinking back tears.

Ash did come back.

He came back and wrote this note, but I never saw it. Until now.

“Mommy, what’s wrong?” she asks.

“It’s a letter from Ash, sweetie,” I say, my eyes taking in his words.

I wish everything was different.

I wish that you were mine.

I’m sorry. So damn sorry.

“Did he say goodbye to me?” she asks hopefully.

I wipe my eyes. “Not exactly.” I do my best to give her a smile and wag my finger at her playfully. “Sounds like the two of you had a deal about some piano lessons?”

She giggles. “Yeah, and he promised that I could come to one of his shows. He’s my favoritest. But don’t tell Saint that. I don’t want to hurt his feelings.”

“Why don’t you start this letter to the guys while I use the bathroom, okay?”

She nods, jumping off the counter and looking for a pen, flipping to a new page in the notebook. I shut the bathroom door behind me and sit down on the closed toilet lid, opening the torn journal page, and reading it top to bottom.

The chorus to the song is what gets me. Makes me wonder if I was wrong. Because you can’t fake real.

And these words? They feel like the closest thing to love I’ve ever received.

A broken man and broken girl.

Together they take on the world.

From dusk to dawn, they held on tight.

Never wantin’ to say goodnight.

We’re just starting out, let’s see where this goes

Let me be your rock and roll.

Broken hearts can still be whole.

“Mommy,” Cadence calls, knocking on the bathroom door. “How do you spell badass?”

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