Page 128 of Wild Tangled Hearts

Damien

APOLOGIES AND VULNERABILITY

Atumultuous storm of emotions rages relentlessly within me as I find myself standing there, locked in an unwavering gaze with those piercing, icy blue eyes. Eyes that have always had the power to leave my knees weak. My breath quivers, and my heart feels caught in a vice as I drink in his presence, a poignant reminder of the moments we once shared.

Damien’s lips, once the source of comfort and sweet words, now form a thin line, strained and unsmiling. The air between us becomes palpably heavy, choked with the weight of things left unspoken, like shards of promises shattered into a thousand pieces. His presence crashes over me like a relentless wave, pulling me into a bottomless abyss of yearning and resentment, leaving me gasping for the elusive breath of closure he has avoided for far too long.

For a moment, I consider leaving him standing there, just as he left me in the dark days that followed the intrusion. But as I look into his stormy eyes, I see the turmoil within him, the regret etched into the lines of his face. Despite everything, the love I once felt for him still lingers, and a small glimmer of hope that he can explain himself tugs at my heart.

"Come in," I finally say, my voice soft and uncertain.

Damien steps inside, his eyes never leaving mine. The tension in the room is palpable, and the air is thick with unspoken words. He looks around as if seeing my home for the first time, taking in the remnants of the shattered vase and the replaced picture frames.

He drags his fingers through his messy hair, a desperate gesture, and then rubs the back of his neck, his body language betraying a vulnerability I've never seen before. Gone is the old cocky stance, replaced by something shattered and fragile. In that fleeting moment, a surge of compassion washes over me, and I feel an intense urge to rush to his side, to encircle him with my arms, and attempt to shoulder his pain as if I could erase the fractures in his spirit with a mere embrace.

No, I warn myself.He’ll leave again. It’s who he is.My mom always says, “Trying to change someone is like expecting a river to flow uphill. It's against their nature.”

I gesture to the couch, and we sit down, a polite distance between us. Silence hangs heavy, a testament to the weight of the unspoken. Finally, Damien breaks it.

"I know I messed up," he begins, his voice raw with emotion. "Leaving you like that was the hardest thing I've ever done, and I'll regret it for the rest of my life."

I clench my fists, fighting back the tears that threaten to spill over. "You didn't even call, Damien. I was left alone, scared, and vulnerable."

He nods, his gaze fixed on his hands. "I was scared, too. And so fucking angry with myself that I put you in that position." He looks up, his eyes filled with remorse. "I told you. I've done things I regret and been involved in shit that I can't escape. There are a lot of people who want to hurt me, but I never thought they’d come after you, Bella. You have to know that if I thought you were in danger, I’d never have..." He scrubs his hands over his face and mutters a string of curses under his breath.

"I know," I whisper, my voice trembling. "I'm not angry about that. Yeah, I was terrified after that guy broke in. But what was worse was you leaving."

His eyes meet mine, and he speaks with an intensity that sends shivers down my spine. "I had to make it right. I couldn't rest until I knew no one would ever come after you again." He takes my hand, his grip firm and reassuring. "And they won't, Bella. I guarantee you."

The unwavering certainty in his voice leaves me stunned. His actions to ensure my safety are written in the lines of his face and echo loudly in unspoken words between us.

I’d known Damien had a complicated past, but I had never fully comprehended the extent of it until now.

But he still left, I remind myself. Not one call, not one text.

“I’ve missed you so fucking much.”

I watch him closely, his sincerity evident in his eyes and the way his voice trembles. Despite the pain he's caused, I can't help but feel a flicker of hope.

Don’t be stupid, my brain warns. “I missed you, too. But you hurt me, Damien.”

"I know," he says, his voice heavy with regret as he rises and starts pacing. "I thought I was trying to protect you. And I was. The things I did… had to be done. But every day without you, I felt like I was missing a part of myself. It killed me staying away."

"Then why didn't you call or even text?"

"Because I'm a coward," he admits, coming to a halt and locking eyes with me. "A fucking coward. Protecting you became an excuse to shield myself from facing the truth. I've never felt like this about anyone. And when that guy hurt you because of me..." He tugs at his hair, desperation etched in every line of his face. "When I thought I might lose you for good, it sent me spiraling over the edge. My whole life, I’ve tried to protect the people I love, and it always gets fucked up. Someone always gets hurt. I couldn’t bear hurting you any more than I already had."

Nothing has changed,my head warns. But my heart is already betraying me. And when he sits down and reaches for my hand, I let him. It’s probably stupid because my body follows my heart’s lead, melting into his familiar touch.

“I know you deserve so much better than me. Than what I can offer you,” he says, features bearing the weight of his words. “And I know I don't deserve another chance…”

The pain he caused still lingers, but it's not as piercing as before. His presence, vulnerability, and remorse begin to erode the resentment that had taken root. But how can I trust him again?

“How do I know you won’t vanish again the next time you’re scared? I don’t know—”

"I'll never leave again, Bella. I promise you that. And I’ll do anything to show you how much I..." He swallows hard, his voice trembling, before he continues, "I love you."

Love.Is it possible?