I didn’t know what made me want to wait to find out. I knew Monica was so eager to know if it was going to be a girl or a boy. She was practically internally combusting with each appointment that passed and me still choosing not to find out. I just felt like the moment the doctor tells me if it’s a boy or a girl will be something I treasure for always.
As I looked at the video on the monitor, the moving picture on the screen actually looked like a baby. I could see the nose and the lips and fingers and toes. It was so surreal. Every time I cried, but today I really cried. I had a little human who was growing and growing by the day and would soon be earthside.
“Wow,” I whispered through tears.
“It’s pretty surreal, isn’t it?” The tech placed her hand on my shoulder and gave me a gentle squeeze.
“Very.”
“I’m going to take a few photos and get those printed out for you, okay?”
I nodded and she began typing on the monitor and positioning the wand for clear photos. Soon, I had a new set of ultrasounds in my hands. I couldn’t wait to hang them on the fridge and compare them to the last ones.
“Let’s get you all cleaned up and then the doctor will see you.” She reached for a paper towel and handed it to me before excusing herself from the room.
I wiped the clear jelly from my stomach and quickly got dressed. This was my first appointment alone. Monica usually came with me to all of them, but she had another meeting with her editor she couldn’t miss. I didn’t mind, of course. She had already done so much for me.
I heard a knock at the door.
“Come in,” I said.
The nurse peeped her head in. “The doctor is ready for you.”
I followed her down the hallway to an exam room and hoisted myself onto the exam table. A few moments later, the doctor came in.
“Ms. Heartly. It’s great to see you again.” She smiled warmly before looking down at her papers.
“Good to see you too, Dr. Halquist.”
“How is everything going? How are you feeling?”
“A little restless at night, but I just try to go to bed early to make up for the lack of sleep. Or I take naps during the day.”
“Ahh, you have a little night owl in there, don’t you?”
“More like a kangaroo.”
The doctor laughed. “Well, it looks like baby is doing just fine in there. How are your stress levels?”
“Better. I’m working from home and it’s a less demanding job.”
“Good. After the scare you had last month, I want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself.”
“I am,” I assured her.
“Well, I’m going to have you lie back and I’ll give baby’s heart a listen and do some measurements of your belly.”
I nodded as I lay back on the table.
Dr. Halquist took the doppler and held it against my stomach, moving it until she located the baby’s heartbeat. We listened together for a quiet moment before she gave a nod of approval.
“Sounds great in there. Now, let’s measure you.”
She walked her fingers up the sides of my stomach, causing me to squirm slightly.
“Sorry, I know it tickles,” she said.
She then walked her fingers up to the top of my abdomen and pressed gently.