Page 10 of Until I Break

Please don’t be like that. Just one conversation.

Please, Eliza…

I’ll think about it.

Four

Eliza

Three Weeks Later

The last three weekshave been amazing. Julian and Calder have been incredibly supportive and helpful through everything. Troy has disappeared as far as I can tell. He hasn’t texted again, and I’ve grown comfortable in this new normal. I still have nightmares, but they are significantly better than they were. I am fully healed, and the scarring is minimal on my ass. Not that it matters anyway.

Work has been great, and the guys have been incredibly helpful, especially the first week back. I was in a lot of pain for a while,more than I anticipated. I expected the guys to go to the club like they do every Friday and Saturday, but they haven’t. That makes me feel bad because I know they enjoy going.

I have been in meetings all day and haven’t seen the guys for more than seconds at a time, as they are also in meetings of their own. I love the freedom that I have and how much they trust me to run things so that they aren’t tied up, but I also like working side by side with them.

I walk into the office and smile when I see them at their desks.

“Hey,” I say happily.

“Hey, Kitten,” Julian says. Fuck, I love when he calls me that. “How has your day been?”

“Boring without you,” I laugh. “What’s up?”

“So… our tenth location is set to open tomorrow,” Calder says.

“Oh yeah. How is that going?” I ask.

“We need to go help out and train the new manager. She is not very confident,” Julian explains. “We’d be gone about two weeks.”

“Oh… Well, that sucks,” I say. “When do you leave?”

“Tonight. There is a soft opening tonight, so we’d like to get there before they close up,” Julian continues. I try to not let my sadness slip through, but nothing gets past them. “I’m sorry, kitten. We really need you here, or we’d just bring you with us.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m okay. I’ll keep the ship afloat. I’m sure I can get Ryan to help me if I get swamped.”

“Yeah. When we get back, we will make it up to you,” Calder says. “I promise.”

“You don’t owe me anything, guys. I am just a houseguest, not your girlfriend,” I say.

“You are so much more than a houseguest, Liza,” Calder says.

“I appreciate that,” I laugh. “I have the staff meeting to go to now. You two go pack and help Erica. I’m good. I promise.”

Calder sighs and stands to hug me before Julian does the same. “If you need anything at all, just tell us,” Calder says. “I mean it. No being a brat. Just tell us. If it is an emergency, call Ryan.”

“I’ll be okay,” I say with a forced smile. Nothing about this feels okay, but I know they need to do this. Erica has been needy since she was hired, so I figured she’d do this. Although, I am sure it’s just because she wants to fuck them. I met her a few times, and she practically drools over them. It sucks because she is petite like Natalie, so clearly, they have a type that is the opposite of me. Everyone they have ever been rumored to have slept with or fucked with at the club is skinny as a rail, whereas I am shortand fat. Never mind that I have gained weight over the last few weeks.

I am kidding myself if I think I’d ever have a shot with them. I am forever in the friend zone.

ONE WEEK LATER

I am trying so fucking hard to not be a bitter bitch, but I am. It’s more than that; I am hurt. The second those bastards left town, they stopped talking to me. All week, if I needed something, Ryan had to call about it. I told him to not even mention that I tried to call and text dozens upon dozens of times. I talk to him a bit, and he agrees that it’s shitty but understands why I won’t call them out on it. I am just going to save money and move out of their house. It wouldn’t hurt so badly if I didn’t like them so much. Natalie has tried to get me to come out to the club, but I can’t. I know they are out there fucking Erica all over that club, but I can’t respond to my anger by being exactly what Troy accused me of. I desperately want someone to fuck me, but I won’t be the whore he thinks I am.

It’s not always anger fueling me. Late at night when I am alone, it hits the hardest. I got used to having them there to talk to. They would check on me at night to make sure my nightmaresweren’t getting too bad, but now I am just alone. Troy always told me that if it weren’t for him, I would have no one. It’s hard to fight off that feeling when the house is silent. When I wake up drenched in sweat and have no one to help me through my panic, I fear that maybe Troy was right. Maybe I am nothing without him. I hate thinking that he might have been right, but what else do I have to consider? Julian and Calder won’t even text me back. I feel like it would be a waste of time to try when I am overwhelmed because it would only make me feel more alone when they inevitably don’t answer. I am desperate enough for some kind of connection that I am almost willing to take Troy up on his original offer to meet and talk. That’s got to be better than this, right?

Five

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