Page 20 of Until I Break

“Nothing. What are your thoughts?” Ryan asks me.

“I think you are all delusional for wanting me at all, but that is rooted in trauma,” I say. “If you truly want to be a part of this, then I trust you.”

“Why?”

“Because they do, and I have talked to you enough over the years to trust you, I explain.

“What do you think of Julian wanting me to be involved?”

“So, I have seen their dicks, and I am hoping like hell you are packing something average for the sake of my internal organs,” I remark, and Calder laughs.

“Mmm. Maybe a bit above average. You’ll be okay though,” he laughs. “I won’t harp on it like they will, but are you honestly prepared to go there?”

“Low-key sad I won’t get off from it, but yes,” I say. He looks to Calder and then Julian for a moment, thinking.

“I hope you two understand that I will do what I think benefits her, not you two,” Ryan says. “She wants to communicate to you two that she is handling this better than you two are giving her credit for.”

“If she is consenting, I would love to see her with you,” Calder says.

“I agree. I think seeing her handle things will help me understand her state of mind. I don’t think starting things with us is a good idea. Calder might be handling things well, but I am… not,” Julian admits.

“Liza?”

“Yes?” I ask with a smile and blushed cheeks. He walks closer to me, and I get anxious.

“If you truly want to do this, get on your knees,” he says simply.

“Right now?” I ask.

“Right now,” Ryan confirms. “Do not force yourself to do anything. If you are nervous or anxious, just tell me, and I can help, but I need you to communicate.”

“I’m anxious,” I say. “I’m not scared… I just… I just keep thinking about all the things that Troy said to me.”

“What can I do to help?” Ryan asks.

“Give very clear directions. Don’t give me any room for overthinking,” I say.

“I want you to use the red light system. Red is a full stop, but yellow should be used for when you feel you might be calling it soon or if you just need a moment. No is not accepted, but I will check in with you by asking your color,” Ryan explains.

“Okay,” I say sweetly.

“Yes, sir,” he says. “When in this setting with any of us, it is yes sir or no sir.”

“Yes, sir,” I correct.

“Get on your knees and clasp your hands behind your back,” he says. As I move down to kneel in front of him, he continues. “If you can’t speak, tap on me at least three times. Even if I have hold of your wrists, I will always make sure you can tap on me.”

“Yes sir,” I say as I sit back on my heels and interlock my hands behind my back. I feel powerful on my knees for him, and the lust-filled look in his eyes is intoxicating. Ryan is just under six feet tall and toned. He has an innocent look about him, but it’s intimidating all the same.

“You two should be watching her very closely. Watch her body language and how she interacts with me,” Ryan says.

“We have employees in the building,” I remind everyone.

“No one will come in here,” Calder says.

“Are you ready?” Ryan asks me. I close my eyes and take a deep breath to center my thoughts before looking back up at him.

“Yes, sir,” I reply softly.

---