Page 52 of Until I Break

The last year anda half have been a hell of a roller coaster, but I survived it. It took forever to heal after Troy kidnapped me. A few of the cuts got infected somehow, but we managed okay. The scars are gnarly, but I have learned to love them, as they are my story of survival. Julian, Calder, and Ryan have been so damn patient with me. It is unreal that I got so lucky with them.

Natalie was charged and convicted of kidnapping and her part in helping Troy rape me. They threw the entire fucking book at her, and she was given a life sentence with the possibility of parole in fifteen years. She ruined her entire life, and I’m not even sad about it. Maybe I should feel bad because Troy likely manipulated her, but I don’t care. Julian and Calder’s charges for assault were dropped since there was no victim available to testify. Troy is still wanted by the FBI for a total of thirty-five rapes and a confirmed five murders but is connected to sixothers. Those may never be confirmed, but Jasper told us that the families are just happy he will be charged with something. Problem is, no one knows where the fuck he is. It’s like he fucking vanished, only I know he didn’t. I am confident that he has moved on to terrorize someone else, though. I scour the internet in my free time on VelvetBound and various Facebook groups across the country. A lot of them are the “Have you dated him?” type groups. It’s scary yet hopeful how many shitbags get posted in these groups. I am hoping that one day, I will find someone who posts him. I don’t know what I will do, but my primary concern will be to get to her and make sure she is safe. I doubt he is around here, so I am narrowing places down based on what I know. I know he hates the cold, and he’d rather die than live in a rural area. This means warm weather and tourist cities. Unfortunately, there are a lot of those.

I think the most surprising thing is that we have yet to try for a real CNC scene. We have edged it, but we just haven’t had the conversation yet. Julian is still cautious about what he says and does, but I think he always will be, just as he will always carry guilt, even though he doesn’t have a reason to.

Work has been incredible. We have opened up five new clubs, and we have plans for another in Nashville, Tennessee. Most of our clubs are on the East Coast, but we are slowly working our way into the Midwest. They have essentially dragged me kicking and screaming into a position like theirs. We want to get married, and we know that Julian will be the one I legally marry. At that point, they want to make me a part owner. Why, I have no idea. I have no intention of going anywhere, and they are stuck with me forever, so I guess it is inevitable.

I stand up from my desk, and both Jack and Jill jump up with me. They have been amazing through everything since I got them. They truly have been my slobbery saviors when the panic hit too hard for me to handle. I didn’t realize just how bad it would get until I started leaving the property. It took a solid month for me to do it, but it was only to the office. Within minutes of being alone in the office, I freaked the fuck out, and the guys came back to the dogs laying on me as I sobbed. In these moments, they just lay on the floor with me until I calm down, and then they hold me. I am so confident in them that in the last few months I have managed to leave the house without the guys and only the dogs. They don’t always come with us when we go out, but they come to work with us. I don’t do well with men at all, so they help a lot in meetings when I am in a room full of men. We had to warn everyone in the office and in meetings that my mental health was a work in progress and I needed patience. So far, everyone has been amazing. There was one asshole who once said, “Well, if you can’t suck it up and do your work, maybe you should find another job,” but he was promptly kicked out by the other members of the board.

I walk to the kitchen and get food ready for the dogs. When I have them in the sunroom eating, I turn to see Julian smiling at me. “What?” I ask.

“Nothing. You just look pretty today,” Julian says, walking over and kissing me.

“Thank you. My dress has pockets!” I say happily, sticking my hands into my pockets to show that they do indeed exist.

“You have a fascination with pockets,” he laughs.

“What? They never give lady clothes pockets. Why do men get all the pockets?” I ask.

“To hold all of our audacity, or whatever it was that you said,” he says, grinning.

“Oh, right! The fuckingaudacity,” I giggle and kiss him.

“You’re in a good mood, Kitten,” Calder remarks as he kisses Julian then me. “Ready to cut out of here?”

“I am,” I say.

“Well, let’s go. We can pick up dinner on the way home,” he says, smacking my ass, making me yelp and jump away from him.

I gather my belongings before we all walk down to meet Ryan and go to the truck. The dogs get into the third row as always, and I sit up front with Julian. On the way home, we stop and get pizza. When we get home, I double-check the gate and the alarm before we all sit on the couch and turn a movie on while we eat. I am mindlessly doom scrolling through one of several Miami “Are we dating the same guy?” groups.

I nearly choke on my food when I see a familiar face. This makes the dogs and the guys jump when I start coughing. “Chew your food, ya heathen,” Ryan laughs.

“Troy. It’s him,” I choke out. “It’s him. I swear to God…”

Julian takes my phone and stares at the screen for a while before letting the others look. When they hand it back, I read the post aloud.

“It’s posted by Cassidy Greene. She said, ‘This monster will suck your soul dry and leave you hollow. Beware, ladies! I met him on VelvetBound, and a year later I am finally free. If you know him, run away. If you meet him, run away. So, did we date the same guy?’ I say. The picture attached has a caption of Trey Beddingfield.”

“Holy shit,” Ryan says. “Are you going to message her?”

“Fuck yes,” I say as I tap the screen to navigate to the message app. I pause for a second to gather my thoughts.

Trey Beddingfield is Troy Carpenter. He’s wanted by the FBI for several charges like rape and murder but also kidnapping, attempted murder, and rape. Troy was my boyfriend for four miserable years. Stay very far away from him. I’d like to help. I’m not any safer than you are, but two on one has better odds.

I send the message before showing the others and just nod. “That poor girl,” I say after a stretch of silence.

Twenty Three

Cassidy

When we get totheir house, Gunner jumps out before scooping me into his arms. I still don’t have a shirt on, and my shoulder is bleeding more now. My shirt is soaked in blood, and I didn’t realize. I was so numb from everything that the pain didn’t register.

When we get inside, he takes me upstairs and into one of the bedrooms. Collin takes my shoes off before moving up so I can see him. “We need to see how badly you are hurt, so we need to get your clothes off. Would you rather Oscar?”

“That would be weird for him,” I say, and he chuckles.

“I’ll happily be the one to touch you then,” he says with a wink. My face heats up, and he grins. “We will be gentle, but I thinkGunner is about to cut your sports bra off so that you don’t have to move your shoulder. It’s pretty gnarly.”

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