Page 75 of Until I Break

“I don’t know if you heard our conversation earlier, but she requested no restraints but noted that a person restraining her is acceptable. I do not know how she will react to impact play, so it’s important that she is still so she doesn’t get hurt unintentionally,” Ryan says.

“Makes sense,” Julian says. “I’ll help however I am needed.”

I am trembling, and I have no doubt that it’s noticeable. I am trying to breathe, but it’s hard. Ryan lifts my chin, and my eyes are filled with tears. “You are doing well, Cassidy,” Ryan says softly. “Remind me of the red-light safe word system.”

“Green is good. Yellow means I’m approaching my limit. Red is a full stop,” I force out.

“Good girl. Where are you right now?”

“Y-Yellow,” I stammer shamefully.

“Thank you for being honest. What can I do to help?” he asks.

“I am massively underdressed in this room,” I say quietly. “I spent a year being told that I was fat and ugly. It rooted into my thoughts, so I’m self-conscious.”

“Okay,” he says with a smirk. I’m confused for a moment until he steps back and pulls his shirt off. He maintains his gaze on me as he takes his shoes off and gets out of his pants. When his boxers hit the ground, his huge cock is revealed. He is pierced, and I am undoubtedly about to get choked by that monstrous thing.

“Christ,” I mutter. I lick my lips in anticipation, hoping he abuses me with that thing. Does he get dizzy when he stands too fast while hard? Surely he gets woozy.

“Open up, Cass,” Ryan says with a smirk.

I do just as he tells me to, and he slowly pushes to the back of my throat. His piercing rubs along my tongue and scrapes the back of my throat. Right as I’m about to freak the fuck out, he pulls back a bit. He is watching me closely as he slowly fucks my mouth. He’s pushing me, but not fast. Before too long, he can consistently push to the back of my throat and quicken his pace. I never once move my hands, and I feel proud of myself. When he comes and I swallow every drop of him, I feel so damn proud of myself.

“Stand up here,” Ryan says, holding his hands out. My smile fades when I think I’ve done something wrong. I don’t take his hands, but I do stand and drop my head. “You are perfect, Cassidy. You are not in trouble.”

“Okay,” I whisper. He holds my face and gently kisses me until I relax before pulling back.

“Sex relaxes you,” he says. “Sort of like a compulsive response, yes?”

“Yes, sir,” I admit. “When I first left, it was… all I could think about.”

“Do you regret acting on those impulses?”

“No, it’s just overwhelming to be worried about being rejected,” I say. “I panicked with Oscar at first because I thought I fucked something up.”

“Okay. I am going to change things slightly. Hypersexuality is normal and healthy, so if you want to lean into that to help you feel more in control, that is very doable.”

“Okay,” I say softly. “I… don’t know what I am doing.”

“That is why we lead, and you follow,” he says with a smile. “Ready?”

“Yes sir,” I say, standing taller.

“Lie on the table face down. Your wrists will be held above your head, and the entire goal is to be a restraint. Restraints do not let go until they are told to. Fighting against them will not do anything besides make you tired and anxious. When you are used to these scenes, that will not be necessary, but right now it is so we can make sure each hit lands exactly where we want it.”

“Yes, sir,” I say. When he nods, I turn and get on the table. When I am comfortable, I bring my arms up above my head, and Julian grabs hold of them. He has them crossed so he can hold them with his hands wrapped around my wrists. It is comfortable and makes me feel close to someone but distant all at once. Someone slips a blindfold over my eyes, and that makes me relax more. To not have an option of seeing my surroundings is blissful when I spend my day-to-day life overwhelmed.

“Okay, Cass. Do you want to know what is being used specifically?” Ryan asks. It sounds like he is all around me.

“No,” I squeak out. I yelp when he smacks my ass, reminding me of the rules. “No, sir!”

“Good girl,” he praises, gently dragging his fingers up my inner thigh. I am trying hard to not move, but I want him to touch me so badly. I give in to temptation and move my legs apart. I fear rejection, even in this one single act, but he pushes two thick fingers inside of me, and I groan. He adds a third finger, and I am stunned into silent screams when he presses down on my lower back before roughly fucking me with his fingers. My body reacts instantly by fighting and trying to pull away, but I have forgotten how to breathe.

“Deep breath, Cassidy,” Ryan says, patting my butt.

Wait a goddamn second… If two hands are either on or in me, where in the fuck did he get a third arm?

“You son of a bitch,” I scream at Ryan, surprising myself with my sudden bout of rage. I fight against whoever is holding my arms and try to escape the fingers pounding into me. “Stop! Goddamn it. You lied to…”

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