Page 153 of In Your Dreams, Holden Rhodes

My eyebrows shot together. “Yet?”

He blinked with confusion. “There’s no pressure, Sadie. You can have as much time as you need. I won’t rush you.”

The ring in his drawer wasn’t a misunderstanding.

“You still want to get married,” I said uselessly, panic ringing in my ears.

He scoffed. “Of course I do, but not before you’re ready.”

Oh god. My stomach was in free-fall. It hit me. All this time, I thought we were on the same page. He knew I couldn’t get married. I glanced at the ring on the table and my stomach knotted again.

“We love each other,” Holden said, rubbing his thumb across the back of my hand in slow strokes. “You’re staying in Queen’s Cove. We’re building a life together. Obviously, we’ll get married one day.”

On instinct, I yanked my hands back and shook my head hard. He had a plan the entire time. He wanted to get married from day one and somehow, I had stupidly forgotten that very important detail. My pulse pounded in my ears and I wrapped my arms around my stomach, dragging air into my tight lungs.

“I don’t want to get married,” I told him, sparing him a glance. He stared at me in confusion. “Ever.”

He let out a laugh of disbelief. “Don’t say that. You don’t know how you’ll feel in a year or two.”

“No,” I insisted, tucking my arms under each other, hugging myself closer. I shook my head at him. “Never. I never want to get married.”

A tiny voice in the back of my head still thought this whole thing was too good to be true, and now I knew why.

He made a noise of frustration in his throat. “We love each other. That’s what people do when they love each other, Sadie.”

My hands shook. “Not always,” I argued. “There’s no law that says people have to get married. Can’t people just live together forever and that be enough? Why does there have to be a legal contract involved?”

His jaw tensed. “Because it means you trust me not to screw you over like Grant did.”

His words took the air out of my lungs. I tried to breathe but a weight landed on my chest. My hands came to my temples and I closed my eyes, thinking.

My mouth went dry. The living room felt too small.

“I don’t understand.” He raked his hand through his hair. “I thought you were over that shit. If we’re happy together, why does it matter?”

Rage pitched in my blood. “Exactly. If we’re happy together, why does it matter if we get married or not?”

“Because it means something, Sadie! It means you’re choosing that person.” His fist clenched. “When are you going to stop punishing me for what that asshole did?”

I stood up to get away from him. “You’re not lookingthat differentfrom Grant right now.”

“Don’t say his name in our house,” he bit out.

“Yourhouse, Holden. I don’t live here.”

“Yes, you do.” He glared at me. “And we’re getting married. Maybe not soon but one day, we are.”

Every cell in my body wanted out of here.

“You’re being controlling,” I told him, crossing my arms. Misery boiled up in my stomach as I thought about the past couple months. Over the course of this argument, my memories had taken on a new light.

I saw him now. Holden couldn’t give up control in life, in his company, and now in our relationship.

The raincoat. The boots. The treehouse. The coffees and croissants and emerald green tiles.

“This whole time, I thought this—” I gestured between us, “—was real but you were just trying to change my mind about your stupid marriage goal.”

His big flaw I had been wondering about for months? It was right in front of me the whole time.

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