Page 154 of In Your Dreams, Holden Rhodes

God. I felt so stupid. How could I miss it?

His face fell. “No, honey, that’s not it.”

I blinked at him. “Don’t call me that.”

The endearment burned me, knowing he hadn’t changed his mind about marriage. They always had an agenda, wasn’t that it? And here I picked the wrong guy, again.

This time, I had no one to blame but myself. It didn’t matter that he loved me.

Now, he stood. “So after all this time, after everything that’s happened between us, you still won’t bend, huh? Is that it?” His eyes flashed with frustration and hurt.

I gritted my teeth. “You’re backing me into a corner.”

He threw his hands up. “Some fucking corner, Sadie. Is this life so bad?” He gestured at the surrounding house. “Me running baths for you and working on the inn together? Making you come every night? Am I such a poor fucking choice that you still won’t commit, even though you want me?”

“It’s notyou, Holden—”

“Itisthat,” he spat back. “I heard what you said to your aunt about me, Sadie.”

My brain paused and I squinted at him, shaking my head. “What are you talking about?”

His chest rose and fell hard as he heaved for air. His eyes locked on mine and hurt flared behind his gaze. “You asked her why anyone would choose me over my brothers.” The fight drained out of him, and now he just looked tired. “And you were right.”

My head swam with confusion. “No, Holden, that’s because you were an asshole to me that summer.”

His shoulders lifted once and he folded his arms over his chest. “You were right, though, weren’t you? I’m offering you everything and you still don’t want it. You don’t want me.”

The muscles in my shoulders strained with tension and I tried to swallow past the knives in my throat. Shaky frustration rattled through my blood and my head pounded with an incoming headache. I dragged in a deep breath and let it out slow as the realization filtered into my mind.

I couldn’t marry him. I couldn’t do it and I wanted someone who would respect that.

Holden wanted marriage more than he wanted me.

My heart strained in my chest at the realization that it wasn’t going to work with us, and I closed my eyes for a brief moment to gather my strength.

In another life, it would work between us, but not in this one. The idea of getting married pulsed at the edge of my consciousness, infected and painful and full of misery, and I never, ever wanted anything to do with it.

“We’ll never agree on this,” I said in a quiet voice.

He stared at me in silence, a frown forming on his handsome face. He realized it, too.

My eyes stung with tears. “We’re both always going to be waiting for the other person to change their mind.”

Behind his gaze, something dimmed. All the light and warmth that had grown over the past three months drained away.

“Yeah.” He stared at the floor with an expression of acceptance and regret.

I bet he wished he never inherited the inn with me.

Pain twisted my heart, and a tear spilled over. I turned away so he wouldn’t see, clearing my throat.

I heard him put his boots on before his footsteps approached.

“I’m going to stay at Emmett’s tonight.” His voice was low. He paused. “Bye, Sadie.”

My heart broke in half. A tiny part of me thought he’d cave. That he’d love me enough to change his mind.

“Bye, Holden,” I whispered. I couldn’t turn around, or I’d change my mind.

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