Page 35 of In Your Dreams, Holden Rhodes

I frowned. “Go on.”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about the future.” He rubbed his forehead. Discomfort flashed across his face and my eyes narrowed.

“What is it?”

He nodded. “When my term is up next year, I’m going to run again. I like being the mayor. I don’t like all the bureaucratic bullshit and red tape and stubborn fuckers who don’t like change, but I like being involved in the community and making a difference.” He took a deep breath and shrugged. “It feels like my purpose, you know?”

Rhodes Construction used to feel like that until Emmett left and my role changed.

Now I didn’t know what my purpose was.

I sat back in my chair and crossed my arms.

Emmett shot me an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I know this is a change in plans.”

“It’s fine.” I stared at the carpet, brain whirring with the next steps.

Emmett wasn’t coming back, and there was no end in sight to this.

He leaned back and studied me. “We should talk about bringing someone on board.”

The idea of handing over half the company to someone made my skin crawl. I couldn’t picture anyone but Emmett in the role.

“No.” I shook my head. “Not this again.”

He groaned. “You are so fucking stubborn. And you’re a control freak.”

I thought about what Sadie said, about me not being able to find anyone because I was a workaholic. I wasn’t a workaholic. I hated working late, but our work was dangerous. Construction sites were full of hazards, and even though we had rigorous safety measures and procedures, a pinching thought always lingered in the back of my mind.

Something could happen, and it was my job to keep everyone safe. It was my responsibility.

Any time my grip on things relaxed, I heard the sickening crunch as Finn fell from the tree in our back yard, when we were kids. I was fourteen and he was ten, and I was supposed to be watching him while everyone was out, but I was gaming in the living room.

Finn cracked his skull. He was unconscious. He could have died. I still heard my mom’s scream echoing in my mind. They came home just as he fell and raced him to the hospital.

I glared at Emmett, folding my arms over my chest. There was no fucking way I was letting go of the company. It was too much of a risk.

He studied me for a moment, his brow furrowing. “What do you want out of life, Holden?”

My chest constricted. “I want you to stop harping about bringing another partner in.”

“Seriously.” He leaned forward, concern written all over his face. “Where do you see yourself in ten years?”

In my home, with a partner who I loved and who loved me. A couple kids, and a dog or a cat, whatever my person wanted. I didn’t care, as long as she was happy.

The work part was a huge blank. I pictured myself here in my office, working late while my family was at home, eating dinner. Coming in on weekends and missing baseball games and piano recitals. My future partner’s disappointment as I got home late or pulled my laptop out after the kids went to bed.

Something pinched under my ribs.

“I won’t let you down,” I told him. “I’ve got this.”

“I know you do.” He frowned. “That’s not the issue.”

I unhooked my laptop and slid it into my bag. “I’m getting dinner. You wanna join?”

“No, thanks.” He stood and followed me out of my office. “Avery’s off soon, I’m going to head home.”

No surprise there. Why spend time with anyone else when you can hang out with the love of your life? We said goodbye and I crossed the street to the bar.

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