Page 25 of Riding with the Bad Boy

Chapter 11

Danielle

The rehearsal dinner sucked ass. I felt like the biggest idiot in the world right now, and all I wanted to do was get the hell out of here. I was miserable, and I had no one to blame but myself.

As much as I wanted to believe I didn’t he right thing by sending Rocco away I could shake the feeling that I’d just made the biggest mistake of my life all because our conversation brought up thoughts of my family and I couldn’t take the risk that I’d lose him too. The whole thing was irrational, I knew that, but sitting in the RV I knew that there was no way I could handle going through opening myself up to that kind of heartbreak again.

Maybe I needed therapy, not a relationship, but damn it, I wanted Rocco and I was afraid it was too late. That I had hurt him too much for him to ever give me another chance. Why would he? I told him I wanted a relationship and then when he offered it to me; I turned him down. Worse, I made it sound like my decision was about him when it was clearly about me. I needed to make this right.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” Belle rushed up behind me and shocked the crap out of me. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders. She wasn’t tiny, but she also wasn’t quite as tall as I was.

“Me too.” I put on a smile I didn’t feel. “I’m so happy for you.” I wondered if I could sneak out of here without her noticing.

“Thanks. I’m a lucky girl.” She let me go and sat on the bar stool next to me.

“You’ve always been lucky.”

“I know.” She raised her hand for the bartender to bring her another drink. “I sometimes wonder where I’d be if I’d stayed at the foster home instead of my parents finding me.” She lifted her head and looked around. “I don’t think I’d be here.”

“You never know. I stayed, and I turned out alright.” I reminded her.

She put her hand over my arm. “Oh, that wasn’t what I meant.”

“It wasn’t?”

“No.” She shook her head with a light smile as the bartender put down a glass of wine in front of her.

“What I meant was that it was hard enough opening up to my parents once I was adopted, and I was little.” She shrugged. “That first three months, I didn’t say a word other than yes. I was so scared that if I said the wrong thing or disagreed with anything they said, they’d take me back. I didn’t understand love.”

“And you do now?” I was older, had a wonderful group of friends, and I still wasn’t sure I understood it.

She smiled and glanced over at her soon-to-be husband. “Yeah.” She nodded. “He helped me. I’ve never felt safer or freer than with him. He has a way of understanding when I’m afraid and just being there. He isn’t perfect, but I’m not either, and he accepts that. And he reminds me every day that I’m loved and wanted.” She ran her finger over her engagement ring. “That this means there are no take-backs. That we’ve chosen each other for life.”

I drew in a shuttering breath. “Don’t you ever worry that he might change his mind, or that life could take him away?”

“Every day.” She swallowed, but her smile never left. “But the thing is, love and commitment don’t come with a guarantee. Nothing in life does, and if you spend it waiting for everything to be taken away, then you miss all the good things. I’d rather have as much time with him as I can, feeling his love, then none at all. He’s worth whatever comes.”

She picked up her wine and gave me another side hug. “Whoever you’re thinking about is probably worth it for you, too.”

My brows came together. “What makes you think there is someone?”

“Sorry, I just assumed, but it’s pretty clear something is wrong and I want you to be happy.” She giggled. “I want every to experience what I have.”

“I’m not sure I’m ready for that.” But even as I said the words, all I could see was Rocco’s face. His smile. Hear his laughter. I could feel the tears pushing at my eyes.

“Only you know that, but don’t hide in fear.” Her smile grew. “Love makes you brave, and you’re already the bravest person I’ve ever known.”

I didn’t know about that. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for being my first real sister.” She placed a small kiss on my cheek and walked away.

I watched her move through the room toward her fiancée. His arm went around her as soon as she was close enough, and his smile was just as big as hers. The way he looked down at her made my heart hurt with longing. I wanted that. Fuck me, I had that. I had it and I let it go.

I pulled out my phone and called Rocco. I had no idea where the rally was being held, but maybe we could talk. He needed to know that I was sorry.

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