Page 30 of One Pucking Life

“It’s a warm compress to help with the pain. I’m almost positive she has an ear infection. She was tugging on this ear earlier.”

“Is that bad?” I ask, rubbing Caroline’s back.

Delaney shakes her head. “It’s common for babies. Nothing to worry over. I’ll take her to her pediatrician tomorrow, and they’ll probably prescribe antibiotics.”

I exhale, relieved. “Oh, okay.”

She gives me a soft, reassuring smile. “It’ll all be fine, Max. No worries.”

My hand drags over the back of my neck. “She was just so upset.”

Caroline’s quiet now, her breathing growing deeper as Delaney pats her back with expert calm.

“It happens,” she says. “But she’ll be fine. I promise.”

I sink down onto the sofa and let my head fall back with a groan. “Thank God you’re here.”

Delaney joins me, settling beside me with Caroline nestled against her chest. She hands me the now barely warm cloth, and I place it on the end table.

“Honestly, I doubt the meds have kicked in yet. I’m pretty sure all the crying wore her out,” she says. “So, really, I didn’t do much.”

“No, you did.” I swallow thickly as emotion builds in my chest. I glance at her, and all I can think is how incredibly beautiful she looks. I watch her with my daughter every day, and every day, I’m overcome with gratitude that she’s here.

“Can I ask you a serious question?” I ask, eyes drifting to my sleeping daughter.

“Sure.”

“Do you think I’m selfish for keeping her?” The fear that takes hold of me as I anticipate her response is visceral.

“What do you mean?”

“Her mother had adoptive parents lined up. Do you think Caroline would’ve been happier with them? Two mature people who are probably way better parents than I could ever be.”

She nudges my knee with hers. “Max, don’t do that. You’re Caroline’s dad. Of course she’s better off with you. She’s lucky to be so loved. There is no perfect family. Just because the adoptive parents may look better on paper doesn’t mean she’d be better off with them. All families look different, and that’s okay. The only thing that matters is that she’s loved. The rest will work itself out.”

“But, like, just now—I was clueless about how to help her.”

She furrows her brows. “So what? You were trying. Parenting isn’t easy, but you learn. Everyone learns. I guarantee that if she was with the adoptive parents, she wouldn’t have been immune to ear infections. You have to give yourself some grace. The best parents in the world have crying babies. That’s just reality.”

“Yeah.” I sigh.

She leans her cheek against the back of the couch, her face inches from mine. “I think you’re an amazing dad. And someday,when Caroline’s old enough to understand what’s going on, she’ll love you more than anyone else in this world.”

“You think?”

“Absolutely.”

My hand finds her pajama-clad leg, and I gently squeeze just above her knee. “Thanks, Laney.”

“Anytime.”

It takes all my energy to pull my hand away, but I do. We fall into silence, listening to Caroline’s deep, even breaths as she sleeps. With her content and Delaney by my side, everything feels... right.

No more words are spoken. We just sit there in quiet contemplation.

At some point, we must drift off because when I wake again, Delaney is lying against me, Caroline still sleeping peacefully on her chest.

The room is dark and silent, the soft hum of the night wrapping around us like a blanket. I know I should wake Delaney so she can lay Caroline down, but the warmth of her body pressed into mine is too comforting. Despite the awkward angle, I’ve never felt more content.

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