Page 60 of One Pucking Life

“Things can’t change,” she protests. Her fists clench at her sides as she begins pacing the room.

“Why?”

“Because they can’t!”

In three wide steps, I’m standing before her. So close I can feel the desperation radiating off her as her chest rises and falls. I place a finger beneath her chin and tilt her face until her eyes, full of panic and uncertainty, lock with mine. “We made the rules. We can change them.”

She shakes her head, eyes brimming with unshed tears. Her voice is quieter now, more hesitant. “I can’t. The rules are there to protect me.”

“From what? Me? Do you think I’m going to hurt you?” But even before she answers, I can already see it on her face.

“I think you have the power to hurt me more than anyone ever has.” Her voice breaks.

“I would never hurt you, Laney.”

She clears her throat and takes a step back. Crossing her arms over her chest, she sighs. “You don’t know that.” I open my mouth to speak, but she continues. “I know you wouldn’t try, but situations change. People change. With love comes relationships, and that’s not what I want.”

“What do you think we have?” I ask, scoffing.

“An arrangement.”

“No, Laney. We have a relationship.”

She shakes her head. “No.”

“Yes,” my voice rises, firmer now.

She starts pacing again. “I guess I was stupid for starting something with my boss, but I thought we could handle it. Don’t you see, Max? The lines are getting blurred, but that doesn’t change the reality. I’m here to do a job. You pay me to care for your daughter. That’s all. The sex was supposed to be just that—sex. But you attached feelings to it. You made it more than it was supposed to be.”

I shake my head, anger tightening in my chest. I fight to keep my voice steady. “You can lie to yourself all you want, but don’t think for a second I believe the bullshit you just spewed. Deep down, you know damn well what we have is more than a boss-employee relationship. Tell me, Laney... in your other jobs, did you stay up late playing cards with the kid’s dad? Did you watch movie marathons on the couch with him? Did you look forward to seeing him every morning? Did you miss him when he was at work? Did you kiss him when he got home? Were you so attracted to him that you randomly dropped to your knees to put his dick in your mouth?”

Laney gasps. “Stop it, Max.”

“No, I won’t. Because everything I’m saying is true. We’re already in a relationship, whether you want to admit it or not. What we have is so far beyond sex, it’s unreal. You and I are perfect for each other. It might’ve started as something casual, but whether you wanted it to or not—everything has changed. I love you, and that’s the bottom line. I can’t pretend I don’t. I think about you every second of the day. When I dream, it’s of you. I live for the moments we spend together after the baby is asleep—all of them. The sex is incredible, but I love all the rest too. I love picking up the house with you, doing dishes, andmaking grocery lists. I love doing life with you. Every part of my world became better the moment you entered it.”

“Stop,” she pleads, a tear rolling down her cheek.

“I can’t. I can’t pretend anymore. Loving you feels so good. I know you’re afraid, and I’m here to talk it out if you want. But please, be brave enough to admit you love me, too. I know you do. I understand that you’re scared. Believe me, I’m terrified. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. That kind of love brings a level of uncertainty that could crush me because nothing is guaranteed. Could you break my heart someday? Absolutely. Could I break yours? I don’t see that happening, but who knows what the future holds. When it comes to the heart, anything is possible. So yeah, I could hurt you someday. But on the flip side, if we’re brave enough to leap into the unknown, we could find happiness beyond anything we imagined.”

She shakes her head. “I didn’t want this. I hate men.”

If she weren’t crying, that line would’ve made me laugh. “But...?” I press.

She swipes at her cheeks, wiping the tears away. “I love you.”

Those three words mean everything. “Yeah?” The corners of my mouth lift in a slow grin.

She dips her chin in a defeated nod. “Yeah. Despite a lifetime of conditioning to the contrary, I allowed myself to fall in love with you.”

I close the space between us and wrap my arms around her, pulling her tightly into me.

Her breath hitches as I pull her into my arms, and for a moment, we just stand there—holding on like we’ve both been underwater and finally found air. She feels small against me, warm and soft, her heartbeat pounding in time with mine.

Then she tilts her face up, her tear-bright eyes meeting mine.

And I kiss her.

Not like I have before.

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