Page 13 of Shaped By Darkness

It’s selfish, I know, but I can’t bring myself to care.

The room is quiet when I finally stand outside the door in the hall. I know she’s asleep, but I’m not so sure about the others, and the last thing I need right now is a bunch of questions.

I’d seen both Blair and Garrett around; even in a castle this size, it’s impossible to avoid everyone. Trust me, I’ve tried. Thankfully, they seem content to leave me alone. With Sol almost dying and Serena fighting with Garrett about going out to find Lyle, they’ve had their hands more than full.

Should I be a part of all of this? Absolutely.

But I can’t face them, at least not yet.

Maybe not ever.

On silent feet, I move into the room, slowly closing the door behind me so it doesn’t wake anyone. Every door in this castle is made of real, thick, handcrafted wood that makes sneaking around damn near impossible if you don’t know what you’re doing.

“So you do come to sleep still.” Her voice startles me, and I let the door slip from my fingers. It falls closed with a bang that has me cringing because there’s no way any of the others are going to sleep through that.

The room is dark, as it should be with everyone sleeping, but the large circular window lets in just enough light from the moon to illuminate her. She’s sitting at the window. It’s one of her favorite spots to think, read, or simply run away. She’s been poring over books in the library with Sol, researching at all hours, trying to find a way to save Lyle, despite Garrett telling her it’s impossible.

We all knew she would never take that answer, though. Anyone who knows Serena knows that she’s always been stubborn.

“Serena,” I cut myself off, unsure of what I want to say as I soak her in.

It’s been days since I’ve really seen her, more than just her sleeping when I snuck in and out of the room, or in passing. Her hair is mused from sleep, dark circles under her eyes and a line on her face.

It takes me a moment to understand. She’d fallen asleep reading at the window.

Shit.

She’s mad. It’s written all over her face. Her brows are pinched, and her lips are pulled down in a frown that I knowall too well. I haven’t seen her look at me like this for a while; usually, she saves this look for Lyle when they go toe-to-toe.

Fuck, I can’t imagine how she must be feeling right now with Lyle being gone, Sol almost dying, me avoiding her, and Garrett… Well, last I checked, she wasn’t talking to Garrett.

The bond hums, and I feel some of her emotions as they slam through me before disappearing. Sadness, anger, regret, fear—they swirl around inside of her in a loop that can’t be healthy.

She stands, moving toward me, and all I can do is watch her as she gets closer. I should leave, turn around, and head right back out the door. I want to because I’m a coward, but the way her eyes shine has me rooted in place. Even in the low light, it’s impossible to miss the tears that gather.

I fucking hate when she cries.

“Don’t ‘Serena’ me. If you want to avoid me, why sleep in here at all? Why not just pick one of the hundreds of other rooms?” She’s damn near hysterical as she reaches me, not giving a shit about the others who sleep only ten feet away.

They begin to stir, unable to sleep through her shouting, and I don’t need the bond to feel their gazes as they fall on us. I don’t dare turn to them, though, not right now, not with Serena this close and so clearly upset.

No, I can deal with them later. Right now, only one thing is important, and she’s right here.

“I couldn’t stand being away from you that long,” I admit, unsure if doing so is a good idea or not. On the one hand, I want to be honest; on the other, that lets her know I’d tried.

Had it worked, I would have gladly taken a room on the other side of the castle, but I couldn’t. After a day of avoiding her, it physically hurt me to try to sleep anywhere else. It was like my body required her presence. Just sleeping in the same room with her was enough to make it manageable, which is why I wasable to sneak in and sneak back out in the morning without her knowing.

Or so I thought. It would seem I’m not great at sneaking around.

Wrong answer.

Sol’s voice rings in my head and I flinch, hearing it directed at me after all this time.

Serena’s face morphs from anger to concern, and fuck if it doesn’t make me feel worse.

“Storm?” The uncertainty in her voice pulls at my heart, and I want to reach out and hold her, to tell my brother I’m sorry for being a coward…

But the words won’t come out.

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