Page 33 of Shaped By Darkness

“I just wanted to see you. See where you've been going at night.”

Clearly, I should have just stayed at the castle; I was just… lonely. Ever since we lost Lyle, things haven’t been the same. Storm doesn’t even talk to us, and he can’t even handle being in the same room as Sol or Serena. The few times I’ve cornered him, he ended up giving me some lame excuse before he took off.

We’re falling apart at the seams, and all I want is my pack back, my family.

Before I do any more damage, I turn away, heading back to the castle. I can handle being lonely; it’s better than this, better than feeling unwanted.

“Wait, Pike…” I hear her behind me, but I don’t stop. I love Serena, but if she doesn’t want me around, I need to respect that. No matter how much it might hurt, I know I don’t deserve her; I haven’t earned a spot beside her after what I did.

But one day I will. One day she’ll see how sorry I am for hurting her, hopefully.

“Pike!”

I didn’t even realize I was running, but now that I am, I can’t stop, even though all I want to do is turn back and go to her.

Why do I have to fuck everything up?

One second I’m running, the next I’m in the air. I mean, I guess technically I’m still running; I’m just not getting anywhere.

For a moment I’m lost, completely fucking lost about what’s happening, until I’m turning midair to face Serena and I see the shadow tendril that’s wrapped around my waist, carrying me back to her.

I think it’s safe to say she’s getting better with her shadows, and while I can see her brow crease in concentration, I can’t help but be excited for her. Serena’s whole life has been a struggle, and while these powers aren’t easy, it makes sense that she would have them, that she’s special.

The second my feet are back on the ground, she’s moving, running toward me. I can’t bring myself to move away again. It was hard enough the first time; now it’s impossible.

She flings herself into my arms, and I catch her without thought or hesitation. My body calls to her, the same way my beast does, and I couldn’t imagine a world where my arms weren’t ready for her every single time she needed me, night or day, rain or shine.

Loving Serena is life-altering. It changed the way I think and act, making me a different person. I can’t even recall who I was before.

I don’t want to.

She’s wrapped in my arms, hanging off of me like a spider monkey.

“I’m sorry.” We both say at the same time.

The sound of her giggles makes me pause, the sound like music to my ears. She pulls back, but I don’t let her go, and it doesn’t seem like she wants me to. Instead, she leans back to look me in my eyes.

“I didn’t mean for you to leave, I just…” She looks back over her shoulder toward the clearing. I don’t need to look to feel the eyes of both Blair and Ryker.

“I just… I didn’t want you to freak out about Ryker or say something to Garrett.” She sounds so small, so vulnerable in a way I’m not used to with her, not anymore. It makes me pull her closer. Turning back to face me, she lets her head fall to my chest. I rest my chin on her head, content with the way she feels against me, the feeling of her heart as it pounds in time with my own.

“He’s not bad, Pike. I’ve seen the good in him. He never wanted any of this.”

She pleads his case, and I know I should probably tell her she’s wrong or insist we go back to the castle, but I can’t bring myself to do it.

I’m not one who should be judging him. I might not be a murderer like Garrett claims Ryker is, but I’ve done a lot of things I’m not proud of. I know better than most that not everything is always as it seems. If Serena trusts him, I think he’s at least worth giving a chance.

After all, she gave me another chance.

“He can help us. He’s training me with my shadows.” I can hear the plea in her voice, and suddenly her reaction to seeing me makes more sense. “He can help me save Lyle.”

“Hey,” I rub a hand up and down her back as I nuzzle my cheek to her head in hopes of offering her comfort. “Lyle’s lucky to have you, Buns.” Her breath catches, and I feel the way her heart rate picks up under my hand.

Apparently, she expected a different reaction, and again, I get that.

If I were Garrett, I can’t imagine there would be any hugs right now. No, they would probably be screaming at each other, or Garrett might have skipped past that and gone right after Ryker.

Damn. Yeah, I can see why Serena might not have been happy with me just showing up like I did.

---