Page 4 of Shaped By Darkness

I'm not sure how long it takes before the Queen finally leaves, but she looks exhausted. Garrett trails behind her, clearly trying to watch her but also trying not to look overly conspicuous. Somehow, I doubt the Queen is the type who enjoys people fretting over her.

She stops just outside the door, looking down at me and then at Blair, her lips pulled down in a frown that tugs at my heart. It's no wonder Serena decided to stay here as a child. The Queen is magnetic, drawing you in and making you feel loved and important.

"It's going to be a rough couple of days as his body attempts to work through the damage at a much slower pace than usual, but I think he'll pull through." She crouches down in front of Blair, swaying slightly. Garrett quickly reaches out to steady her, only for her to glare at him and him to pull away.

It'd be funny if everything wasn't so damn depressing right now.

Her eyes fall closed as she presses a hand to Serena's forehead, takes a deep breath, and lets it out slowly. Her hand glows with a golden light that I've come to learn is light magic, but I still don't really understand it.

"Serena's going to be just fine as well. She's just overwhelmed from the strain of using her powers." Pushing to stand, she looks at Blair before turning to me and finally to her son, who’s still standing ready despite her pushing him away a moment ago. "Her darkness is strong. Stronger than anything I've ever seen, and that kind of power takes its toll, especially when she's yet to reach her full potential." She smiles, and it's strange with all the panic and sadness that has been weighing on us for the last few hours, but not unwelcome. "None of you have yet, but you will. It will be hard, but you need to remember why you’re fighting and that you’re stronger together. Sol and Serena might not be bonded, but keep her close to him, and you all,as well. The connection you have will help him to recover faster than any kind of magic I can offer."

"Alright, Mom, let’s get you downstairs to eat, okay?" I hear the concern in Garrett's voice, and I think this time, she doestoo, because instead of fighting him or waving him off, she nods, before they head down the hall together.

Blair and I are left sitting by the door, and while I can hear the steady breathing in the other room, I can't fight the urge to go and see with my own eyes that Sol is still breathing. I push to stand, stretching after lying on the floor for so long, before I cross the short distance to where Blair sits with Serena still tucked in his arms. She looks like she's asleep, well, kind of. She looks like she's asleep without her nightmares.

Ever since Serena was little, she's been plagued by nightmares, but Blair has always been her safe place. I'm glad that with everything flipped on its head, that can still be true. Gods know she needs some fucking peace right now.

My beast whines before he tucks his head, rubbing our nose against her cheek. The warmth of her skin warms something inside of me. I can't explain it, but I need her like the air in my lungs.

"Let's go check on the twins," Blair says, pulling me from my thoughts as he stands up. You'd never know he has a whole other human in his arms, especially with how easily he moves.

Man's built like a fucking steel house.

Blair enters the room first, but I quickly follow, not wanting to be far from Serena. What the Queen said about keeping her close to Sol for his benefit rings in my ears, and I can't help but think the same might be true for her, too. Maybe my being around her can help? I know she's my mate. My wolf can feel the pull to her. I just don't want to push it on her. I want her to want me, to choose me.

I want her to decide I'm good enough for her.

Fuck what the universe says.

Storm sits on the chair next to the bed, his eyes wide as he stares at his brother, his twin, who lies motionless and sickly pale on the bed in front of him.

Despite Blair’s attempt to assure Serena we would figure things out together, I know she doesn’t buy it, and I’m pretty sure he knows it too. He did get her to eat, though, which is more than anyone else has been able to do yet. The rain continues, and a gloomy day transforms into a gloomy night where Serena still refuses to leave Sol’s side. Garrett had offered to move him to his room so she could sleep in the bed with him instead of in the chair, but she refused.

I’m pretty sure it’s a way for her to try and punish herself, and it’s killing me. That’s one of the main reasons I’ve stayed in my wolf form. I’m not sure if she even realizes it, but Serena tends to let me closer to her like this than she’s letting anyone else, and the last thing I want right now is for her to isolate herself more.

Tonight, she’d laid down next to me on the floor and curled up to my side, complaining that she was cold. I’m not sure if it was an excuse or not, but honestly, I couldn’t care less. She’s here, cuddled up with me, and that’s all that matters.

Cold white eyes haunt my nightmares just as much as they haunt me while I’m awake. It’s part of the reason I’ve been fighting to stay awake so damn hard. Well, that, and I want to be there for Sol. I don't care if Rosalynn says he’s finally out of the woods now; I won’t believe it until I see him awake again with my own eyes.

I need them all to be okay, but despite wishing I could fix everything, I have no idea how to even begin to do that.

I can’t help Sol wake up.

I can’t turn Lyle back.

Hell, I probably couldn’t even find Lyle out in the woods right now. The kingdom is huge; the forests that surround it seemed never-ending when I was a child, but nothing says he’s even still here. Nothing is stopping him from going wherever he wants.

Unfortunately, no matter how I try, I can’t stay awake forever, and eventually, sleep wins.

It’s always the same thing. Lyle stands before me in his shifted form. I can see the trees that tower behind him, and I know we're back in the forest, but I don’t dare look away,afraid he’ll disappear again that if I do. It’s dark, and rain falls from the sky by the bucket load. The cold chills me to my bones, and my teeth rattle in my skull, but that’s fine. If it means keeping Lyle here with me, I can endure it. The alternative would be worse, after all.

“Lyle.” I try to call for him, but my voice comes out soft and pathetic.

His ears twitch, letting me know he heard me, regardless of whether he acknowledged me, but I knew he would. Shifter hearing is kind of amazing, but other than that one twitch, it’s as if I don't exist.

As if he's looking through me.

As if he has no idea who I am.

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