Page 40 of Shaped By Darkness

I’ve yet to actually show up on time, and Ryker refuses to bring me to Lyle until I’ve got a better grip on my shadows and my beast, which, according to Ryker, are pretty much the same thing… I don’t really understand it, but he promised to take me to him ‘when I’m ready.’

Whatever the hell that means.

As much as I hate to admit it, Lyle isn’t in control right now. If it weren’t for Ryker, he might have killed me the night Draven turned him.

For a while there, I’d been upset he didn’t.

I shiver at the memory as I creep through the castle.

Now I just want to see him; it's like I need the reminder that he's out there. Even if it hurts, it's better than the alternative, right?

At least I tell myself that's what I want. Can I actually handle seeing him like that?

Fuck, I don't know, but there's only one way to find out, and it's not as if I can stop now.

It's almost as if I'm being pulled to him.

Down in the garden, I let my shadows free, and they quickly move to form wings behind me. I feel the weight of them on my back. I'm not sure if my shadows move on their own or if they move based on my thoughts and desires, but I don't really stop to think about it. All that will do is give me a headache. There's so much about me I don't understand, but that doesn't matter right now; all that matters is fixing what I broke.

I refuse to let the people I love take the fall for me.

I will save Lyle, no matter what.

Bending low to the ground, I propel myself into the sky higher than should be possible, disappearing up into the clouds. It's not until I begin to fall that my wings catch me, and I can't stop the smile that tugs at my lips as my stomach drops like a rock.

Something about being up in the sky like this is terrifying, but also exhilarating in a way I've only ever experienced when flying.

The tug in my chest pulls me further from the castle, and I move without conscious thought. The world below me is dark, even with my enhanced sight; the only real thing I can tell for sure is that there are trees everywhere. From the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of my shadow wings and stop dead, hovering in the middle of the night sky as I try to wrap my mind around what I'm seeing.

These aren't Garrett's wings.

Could I make wings that aren't his? Possibly, but I never have. My shadows are very good at providing what I need, from wings,to my rabbit when we were kids, to the defense I needed all those years ago against Draven.

So what the hell is this, and why change it up now?

The wings cut through the sky to keep me airborne, and I catch a glimpse of the night sky through them.

A hole?

My mind goes back to that night, the one that I try to keep buried, but this isn't about Sol or Lyle. No, I think back to Ryker.

I'd been flying around to meet him for a few days now. Had I been using his wings the whole time?

How?

Fuck, this is exactly what I mean when I say I don't know anything about myself. I have no idea how my shadows work. Can I take the form of anyone or anything? Is it even up to me?

Pain pulses in my chest, a low ache that's enough to remind me what the hell I'm doing out here. With a shake of my head, I force my mind off my shadows and Ryker and back to Lyle. The pull to him is still there, the pain like a thread that's been pulled too tight, lessening the closer I get.

Flying over the trees is so much faster than any other form of transportation available in the realm. One moment I'm at the castle; the next I'm at the edge of the kingdom, moving from lush green and blue-leafed trees to the dark, dead, terrifying ones that make up the Forgotten Forest.

I don't slow down; don't give myself a moment to pause and think about it. Until now, Lyle had been staying in the kingdom’s forest, so why change? What would make him leave to come here? Beast or not, this place is hellish. I can't imagine anyone would want to be here if they didn't have to be.

My mind jumps back to Ryker for what feels like the millionth time, to that little cabin I spent my first few nights in, to how beautiful and homey it was despite being smack in the middle of these very woods.

No. Get it together, Serena. Just because he made the best of a shit situation doesn't make these woods any less desirable.

Wind cuts through the sky like a whip, throwing me to the side even though I'm at least thirty feet above the tree line. Howls sound all around me, and I'm not sure if they’re from creatures below or simply more of the wind, but I don't really want to find out.

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