Page 43 of Shaped By Darkness

The night Draven turned him plays on repeat in my mind as I remember how close we'd come to losing her to Lyle. I know he would never hurt her, but that monster isn't Lyle, no matter how much Serena wants it to be.

"Serena, we need to go. It's not safe out here." I keep my voice even despite how panicked I feel knowing he could have ripped her apart.

Is this the first time she's been out here looking for him? Somehow, I doubt it.

Damn it, how did everything get so messed up?

I stop just behind her. Her scent mixes with Lyle's, and I feel the pang in my chest knowing they were fated, and neither of them will ever get that now. But it doesn't really matter; the pain she feels is probably still unbearable. The only real difference is that she might survive this.

It's terrible no matter what.

And it's only made worse because he took that hit for me.

Serena thinks I'm giving up on him because Lyle and I have never seen eye to eye, but that couldn't be further from the truth.

I wish there was a way to save him, if not for my own selfish benefit, but for them. So that they can have a chance to complete the bond and have their happily ever after.

I’m the reason he’s like that. It didn’t escape my notice that he chose to take that hit for me, and while I’m grateful, he had no idea what would happen.

How could he?

No, Lyle took that hit to spare Serena, but there was no way to save her from heartache that day.

Nobody deserves to be stuck as one of those mindless beasts, unable to recognize the ones you love or even yourself, lost to your beast for the rest of eternity. Lyle might not have been my favorite person, but he was good for Serena; all of them are in their own way. A balanced, perfect puzzle where everyone is needed.

I stand behind Serena, her back still to me as she stares off into the darkness of the dead trees she faced when I first found her.

It doesn't take a genius to guess that's the direction Lyle must have disappeared. I wish I could offer to chase him down and make this right, but I can't; I'm as powerless as everyone else.

It kills me to see her like this, but I can't let that cloud what I know and my need to keep her safe.

"We need to go back to the castle, Serena. There's nothing we can do for him." I rest my hand on her shoulder, giving a gentle squeeze, hoping to offer her support.

She shrugs it off, stepping out of my reach before whirling around to face me. Even in the darkness, I can see the anger that burns in her eyes. But that’s not the only emotion. No, she’s sad, so fucking sad that it breaks my heart to even look at her.

I don't want to fight with her. I’d much rather gather her up in my arms and hold her. Whisper sweet nothings to her all night and make love to her until the only emotion she can feel is the overwhelming love I have for her.

But that’s not an option right now, and if arguing with her is the only way to keep her safe… so be it.

"I can save him. Ryker is teaching me, you'll see." Her eyes go wide as she slaps a hand over her mouth, and I know she didn't mean to say that.

"What?"

Serena squares her shoulders and lifts her chin in defiance, meeting my gaze with hard eyes that I've never had directed my way before.

We've never been so completely on opposite sides before, not even when she'd lost all memory of me, so why now?

"I've been practicing working with my shadows with Ryker. He said he can help me save Lyle, and I believe him... I have to." Her last words aren't as clear and sure as the rest were, but I get the picture either way.

I'm furious. The idea of her being out with Ryker, out here in the middle of the night, chasing Lyle. It's all dangerous and impossible.

Why can't she understand that all I want is to keep her safe? She has to know that I would gladly help her if there was a way to save him.

She takes a step toward me, her eyes searching mine. I'm not sure what she's looking for or if she finds it, but her shoulders slump and she huffs. She sounds exhausted, but not just like she could use a few hours of sleep. No, this is the kind of exhaustion that goes all the way down to the bone.

“I love you, Garrett, but I love him too. You didn’t give up on me; please don’t ask me to give up on him.”

She's gone before I can think of a response, but that's probably for the best. I'm not sure anything I say right now will do anything but add fuel to this fire, and that's the last thing I want to do, despite doing it over and over again.

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