Page 44 of Shaped By Darkness

I resist the urge to follow her into the sky, my wings itching on my back where they still are from my partial shift that I used to get here. She needs space. We could probably both benefit from it if I'm being honest, and it's not like I can't feel her with the bond. I'd been trying to mute it, knowing she didn't have control over her thoughts and trusting her and the others, but I can see that was a mistake.

Once she's had a decent head start, I leap up into the air, letting my wings catch me as I drop back toward the treeline. I move with the wind until I'm gliding at a pace that won't have me catching up to her but also won't drop me so far behind that she'll leave my sight. I wasn't lying; these woods are the things of nightmares now, have been for as long as I can remember. Though my mother remembers a time when all the woods were as peaceful as the ones in the kingdom.

That sounds like a fairy tale; a lot of her childhood does.

I let my mind wander, trying to distract myself from the rage that boils inside my chest at the idea of Serena with Lyle or Ryker. It's not just me but my wyvern as well. He hates the idea that she could have been hurt a hundred times over, and we would have had no idea.

Fuck, I’m not doing a good job of distracting myself.

I let my beast press to the surface and borrow his eyes so that we can better watch our mate. She should be fine, but we're so worked up that I fear he might try to force a shift if I don't find a way to calm his possessive ass down.

And Serena thinksI'mbad. If only she could be inside the mind of my wyvern.

I look over, searching for any sign of distress or danger, but find nothing—except those aren't my beasts’ wings.

The urge to attack her is there. Even as I force myself away, I can feel it, the need to rip her apart, to make her bleed. It's not from me but the monster that somehow has control over me, or at least he usually does.

Ever since I woke up in the rain all those nights ago, I've been forced into the darkness, with only glimpses of the world and what my beast is doing.

None of it is good.

Fuck! How the hell could they have let her out here all alone? The urge to yell at them morphs into the urge to kill them. Again, not an urge from me.

It's a damn miracle I managed to get away from Serena, let alone the little bits of broken conversation I managed. I wanted to say more, hold her, and wipe away those stupid tears, but I'm dangerous.

I couldn't live with myself if I hurt her, which is why I need her to let me go.

My whole life, from the moment we found her crying and alone, I knew she was meant for me. It took years for me torealize she was meant for all of us, and as much as I wanted to keep her for myself, I knew that wasn't for me to decide. If she wanted them too, if they made her happy, I could swallow my pride; they were my brothers after all, and we are a pack.

Or we were.

I love her enough to know that none of that is possible now.

Theyare a pack.

I'm the monster that will tear them apart if I ever get the chance.

I won't be the one who breaks her, not if I can help it.

Sounds in the forest, cries of other beasts, and breaking branches should scare me, but I welcome anything that dares challenge me.

Serena is gone now; I can feel her as she moves away from me, and that's all I needed.

I'm exhausted. Keeping the darkness away isn't easy, but knowing she's safe is all that matters.

I stop fighting, letting the darkness take over again.

Iturn, making another pass in front of my throne that sits to the right of my parents. The hall is empty, and has been for hours, but I can't bring myself to leave. Where will I go? What will I do? I have no idea how to fix this.

Serena didn't come to breakfast this morning, not that I imagined she would after last night. She was already tucked into bed between Sol and Blair when I got back, and she hasn't so much as looked at me since then.

I don't want to fight with her, but I know how stubborn she is. I know she won't listen; she never does.

Why can't she see that I'm only trying to look out for her?

Does she have a death wish?

"While I believe the castle was built well, I'm unsure if it can handle you pacing for much longer without consequences." I snap my head up to find my mother standing a few feet away near the now empty tables that we use for meals. Her words are playful and teasing, but I can see that her smile doesn't quite reach her eyes the way it once did.

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