Page 47 of Shaped By Darkness

Is this what life would have been like if Serena never left?

I'd always thought that life with her here would have been perfect, much like it had been before Draven, but there's no way to know that. For all I know, it could have been worse. So many things that we’re facing now are hard, and we’re adults. I can't imagine how hard it all would have been back then.

Fuck.

I don't want to be grateful that my father sent her away, that I was forced to grow up without her, missing a piece of my soul, but it's hard to hold onto the same anger I'd felt before, knowingit could have been so much worse, even if she would have only been mine.

That's only true if we both survived.

"Being in charge means you have to make the hard choices, even when it hurts..." She looks at me, and I see the sadness in her eyes. "Or makes the people you love hate you. Sometimes you have to do what you know is right, even if you have to do it alone."

Is she still talking about my father or Serena?

"I don't hate him," I tell her, hoping we're still talking about him.

Her sadness doesn't disappear the way I'd hoped it would; instead, her eyes fill with tears, and she pulls in a ragged breath as if to try to calm herself.

"I did."

Her confession catches me off guard, and I struggle to keep my reaction off my face, though I'm almost positive I do a crap job if her sad smirk is anything to base it on. "Don't look at me like that. I'm human, the same as the rest of you. I still love your father. He's my mate, and I would die for him..." Her eyes go far away, and I know she's seeing something not meant for me, lost in some memory, whether good or bad, I'm unsure. "But for so long, I hated him for taking Serena from not only you, but me. I loved that little girl like she was my own, still do, and for him to take your mate from you. Even if you were both young, the bond was there, even if only as a platonic bond until you were older. It was impossible to explain to a child; there was no way to make you understand, and so he didn't even try."

The room is quiet, and I watch my mother as she continues to stare off into space, a single tear running down her cheek. She either doesn't notice or simply doesn't care.

"It was a lesson for both of us, because being mated means you trust your mate. He made the right call, and now Serena's back,and while she might still be in danger, she's much better suited to handle that danger not only by herself but with her other mates."

"It's not that I don't trust her, I do. I know she's strong. It's Ryker I don't trust. He's a monster."

She doesn't argue with me, nodding as she turns to look at me once again. This time her eyes are clear, not a tear in sight.

"Don't forget who Serena is, Garrett. She's the strongest person I've ever met. Has been ever since she was a child. If she trusts him, there must be a reason. Don't be so quick to write him off, son. He might just be a product of his environment; not everyone is raised in a loving home."

I groan, rolling my eyes because that's such a mom thing to say, but she's also not wrong. I can't imagine growing up with Draven as a father was a walk in the park.

But I also don't want to give him a chance. As far as I'm concerned, he doesn't deserve it, but it's not up to me, not really. I can not like him all I want, but that doesn't mean Serena has to feel the same. I didn't much like Lyle, and I'm pretty sure she's in love with him.

I push off the steps, moving toward the large wooden doors, needing to move and get away. With my hand on the door handle, I pause, looking back over my shoulder to find my mother still sitting in the same spot, watching me with a smile that I'm all too familiar with.

"Thanks, Mom," I say almost begrudgingly because she knows she's right, and I hate to admit it, but I know it, too.

I don't give her a chance to answer before I pull the heavy door open and slip out, making my way up to my room now that I'm not worried I'm going to say something I'll forever regret to the only woman I'll ever loved.

Irritated is an understatement.

Last night left a bitter taste in my mouth. I finally found Lyle, only for him to try to get me to give up on him and then run away. As if that wasn't bad enough, last night also happened to be the night that Garrett finally caught on. It couldn't have been one of the times when I was out in the training yard or even sneaking into the woods to meet Ryker. No, it had to be when I was in the Forgotten Forest, chasing down my friend turned monster, who may or may not want to eat me.

And not in the fun way.

Fuck my life.

I should lie low, spend a few nights at the castle to ensure Garrett isn't still following me around, but I can't bring myself to do it. The idea of sitting around doing nothing to help Lyle makes my stomach turn.

Garrett’s worried about me, and I get that. Going out last night alone to look for Lyle probably wasn't my brightest idea. But he's wrong about Ryker.

Everyone's wrong about him; I can feel it.

I make it to the clearing, my borrowed shadow wings disappearing while I'm still a few feet off the ground. Thankfully, my instincts are good, and I land on my feet with only a minor stumble.

"Woah, what's the rush?" Ryker asks, and I snap my head toward his voice. He's not invisible tonight; he isn't most nights now, instead choosing to hide in the shadows of the trees until I arrive.

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