Page 53 of Shaped By Darkness

No, that’s a lie. I know Pike worries about a lot of things; he’s just good at hiding it all. He hides behind smiles and jokes the same way I hide behind scowls and threats of violence.

His pant legs are slowly soaking up water, the wet mark now all the way to his knees despite the water only reaching his ankles.

“She misses you, you know.” He says it so nonchalantly, as if he didn’t just dig the knife in deeper, but I only have myself to blame, really.

How do I explain to him that I fucked up, that it started as fear but quickly turned into cowardice?

How can I face her now? I’ve tried, and every time I fail.

She’s my mate. I’m supposed to be there for her. They are my pack, Sol is my twin.

I’ve failed all of them.

I don’t deserve their company or their forgiveness, but I know, despite that, they will give it anyway.

That’s just how they are.

Fuck, I want that. I want to go back up to that room and beg for her forgiveness on my hands and knees.

“We all do.” Still, he isn’t looking at me, and I let my eyes roam over the profile of his face. Pike is beautiful. That’s why all the girls always flock to him, and while I know I’m not ugly, my personality mostly keeps people away. Pike isn’t the type of guy I usually find attractive, though. Usually, I like darker features on men, short hair, and a way less bubbly, energetic personality.

But he’s like a siren or something—one taste and I was a goner.

His lips are pulled down in a slight frown, and it looks so out of place on his face that I can’t stop myself. Reaching out, I rest my hand on top of his, where it sits on the dock, in what I hope is a comforting gesture.

The only person I’ve ever tried to comfort is Serena, and even that is rare. Pike, Blair, and Sol are so much better at it that I usually just stand back and offer something fun afterward, like watching anime, playing a game, or even cooking something she likes… my love language has never been physical, but theirs is.

Pike’s leg freezes mid-kick, his head turning toward me, but he isn’t looking at me. Instead, his eyes are cast down to where our hands rest together on the little wooden dock.

The frown on his lips turns up into a blinding smile. I try to remain unaffected by it, but I fail.

My cheeks heat and fuck, I wish a little blush were the worst of my problems right now.

Why the hell had I thought it was acceptable to sit here naked with him?

I adjust, pressing my free hand to my lap in hopes of hiding the fact that I now have a raging boner.

Pike’s eyes dart to the movement before he looks up at me. Our eyes lock, and he cocks a brow, making me roll my eyes. Of course, he wouldn’t miss that, of all the things.

I watch him, unable to look away as he licks his lips, and suddenly all I can do is picture them wrapped around my painfully hard cock.

Fuck.

Yeah, sitting naked with him was a bad idea on my part. I should have known better; hell, I do know better, I just wasn’t thinking straight. I didn’t expect him to show up here in the dead of night; that’s the whole reason I came when I did.

Pulling my legs from the water, I move to stand, done with my bath and this conversation.

I don’t make it far, though, as Pike’s fingers wrap around mine, keeping me hostage.

“Pike,” I growl, my already thin patience running out. I try to pull my hand free again, but he continues to hold me. I stand naked on the edge of the dock, with Pike at my feet, staring out at the water once again.

This is doing absolutely nothing for my…situation. If anything, it only makes it worse. All he would have to do is turn around, and his mouth is right there—

No.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I don’t deserve their forgiveness, but somehow I feel as though I deserve to have my dick sucked?

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