Page 80 of Shaped By Darkness

"Oh, yes, I totally believe that." Her words drip with sarcasm, something I'd only ever read about before meeting her. There was so much I didn't know, never realized I was missing. I don't deserve to feel the way I do about her. I don't really understand it, but I know I'm unworthy because Serena is… everything.

She's kind, beautiful, strong, stubborn, fun, sarcastic, loving, resilient... I could go on forever, and it wouldn't be enough.

She's all the good in the world, and I'm the bad.

Obviously I can't say any of that, so instead I go for the truth… kinda.

"You stink," I mumble, pulling out a pair of pants that I'd long outgrown. I'm not sure why I'd kept them, but now I'm happy I did. If I gave her a pair of my actual pants, I'm not sure she could keep them up. She's so much smaller than I am.

With her this close, her scent is everywhere. I try breathing out of my mouth instead of my nose, but that's worse; tasting her is even more torturous.

Her cheeks turn red, and she pushes her hair behind her ear before taking the pants and moving away, mumbling a sorry under her breath.

It makes me feel like a jerk, or an ass, as they say, but the distance helps, so I bite back the apology that sits on the tip of my tongue.

Unfortunately, it only works for a moment. Serena doesn't hesitate to pull the pants on. Her back to me gives me a glimpse of her butt as she does a hop to get them all the way up before literally walking off the edge, bypassing the ladder.

She's fine.I tell myself. I've been sparring with her and attacking her with dark magic for weeks now. I know she can handle the drop. But even knowing that, my mind goes back to the first time we met. Those first few days when she was beastless and terrified of falling off the roof, which is around the same height.

With nothing else to do, I follow her. My feet hit the ground a lot harder, bottles shake on the shelf, and I watch them, daring one of them to fall. None do, not that it would matter. I can always get more, but that's besides the point.

"To what do I owe the visit? I find it hard to believe any of you were deep enough in the woods that I was the closest place for you to go."

Pike laughs as he looks around, and I try to stop the feeling of inferiority. He's not Garrett, not the prince of the land, the literal opposite of me. But then again, he doesn't have to be. The only person I've ever met who's more of a monster than I am is my father, and of course the monsters he creates, but they don't get a choice in the matter, not the way I did once upon a time.

"Theo found us and insisted that we come here, wouldn't tell us why," Pike says with a shrug, moving around the table to look at my plants, much the same way Serena had when I brought her here.

I turn to Theo only to find her lying on the pelt rug, petting it with a frown.

Oh, right, nature spirit and all that.

"Draven killed it," I tell her, feeling the need to explain.

"I know. I can still feel his magic." She turns to give me a sad smile, her hand still stroking the fur, mindlessly. "Despite whatothers might think, I know you're not a bad person, Ryker. You were just given bad ground to grow in, but even still, I think you might find a way to flourish." Her gaze cuts to Serena, where she stands with Pike on the other side of the table. I watch as she smacks his hand, making him yip like the wolf he is, before pulling back, and I realize he almost touched my poisonous pink vine, just like Serena had when she first arrived.

She tells him as much, and the color leaves his face before his eyes catch mine.

“Why the hell do you have something like that?” Pike asks, sounding horrified, and I can't stop myself from huffing a laugh.

“I like to know what's in the woods. New plants pop up all the time, and those that sprout in the Forgotten Forest often have aversions. Poisons, flesh-eating fungus, blinding pollen, deadly scents. Nobody else dares venture into these woods, so I might as well document what I find. It gives me something to do when I run out of books.”

I hadn't meant to say that much, but it all kind of spilled out. I'm not used to anyone having any interest in me. I feel my cheeks heat when Pike pulls a face, his brows drawing down to match the frown of confusion on his lips.

"You and Sol would get along great," he tells me, making Serena laugh and though she attempts to hide it behind her hand, she fails. "Who the fuck reads for entertainment?" It sounds like he's talking more to himself than asking any of us, but it earns him a smack to the chest all the same.

He snatches her hand, chuckling as he rubs at the spot before bringing Serena's fingers up to his mouth. "Not nice, Buns," he teases before he sticks one of her fingers in his mouth and… bites it?

Serena sucks in a breath before snatching her hand away and giving him a dirty look.

I'm not sure I'll ever understand people.

“Anyway, what was so important that we needed to do this now, Theo?” Serena asks, turning her attention to Theo, making Pike pout.

Strange. All of her mates are strong beasts, alpha beasts who aren't exactly small, yet they all are soft for her.

Theo is strangely docile as well, though I don’t know if that has something to do with Serena or just her personality. For some reason, growing up, I imagined anything related to the gods to be; I do not know, more serious, maybe scary. Theo might not be a god, but she’s as close as I’ve ever come to meeting one.

“Let’s wait ‘til everyone’s here.” Theo is once again petting the rug. Her full attention focused on it as if she didn’t bring Serena and Pike to my doorstep for some unknown reason that she’s not ready to share yet.

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