Page 102 of Push

Marnie was curled up on the couch, staring at the TV but not really watching. My heart fluttered in my chest. I glanced back at Toby. He shooed me on with a smile, and I shuffled over, my cautious steps just loud enough for Marnie to hear over the ads. Her head whipped around.

“Gwen, I—” Her face scrunched up. She swiped her nose with the sleeve of her cardigan. “I’m so sorry.”

She had nothing to be sorry for. I wasn’t sure who took the first step, but she hopped off the couch, and my feet flew across the room. Her arms got around me first, though, and she just about crushed the life out of me.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Toby slip past us, slide the pizza box off the table, and with a wink, he silently escaped the living room without being noticed.

I let Marnie go and flopped on the couch, but she eased down to perch on the very edge with her gaze never leaving her hands.

“I know I said something wrong,” she said.

“You didn’t. That was all me. We’re good.”

Marnie’s brows pulled together. I knew her too well. Her mind was turning over a thought she was unsure about saying out loud.

“You didn’t tell me much about why Toby suddenly decided to take a vacation,” she said. “I quizzed him, too, you know? He brushed me off, cracking jokes and distracting me until I forgot what I asked him. Classic Tobes. All he said was that there was a problem with Ian.”

“There…was…”

She frowned. “I saw Ian at the markets this morning.”

“O-oh?”

“Oh, is right. He had a cast on his nose, his arm was in a sling, and his face was all sorts of purple and green. Whatever happened between those guys wasn’t just a problem. Toby utterly flattened him, didn’t he?”

I ducked my head to hide my grimace. “You know what Toby’s like.”

“I do. All action, no thought, but he doesn’t lose control. Not like that. The fight was about something big, wasn’t it?”

My mouth firmly shut, I darted my eyes away, unsure if I could answer her. In the end, all I did was nod.

Marnie continued, but her voice wavered. “I was in my studio this afternoon running through all the possibilities of what would make Toby lose his shit. Every time I thought about what Ian could’ve done, I remembered our conversation on the day of the yard sale…about keeping your guard up around him…” She twisted her patchwork skirt in nervous fingers. “Gwen, did something like that happen?”

I bit down on my lip, still not saying a word, but I managed another nod.

“Iknewit. In my heart…I just…” She shook her head as she wiped her nose after another teary sniffle.

A deep pool of shame sloshed around in my stomach. “He came over one morning… And he…” I lifted a shoulder, hoping that filled in the blanks. I wasn’t ready to admit the full extent of what happened to anyone yet—including myself.

“My God, Gwen, did Ian—” She slapped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide and panicked.

“No, he didn’t…” I dragged in a breath. “Not exactly. It was kissing…and other…stuff.” My fingertips went white when I dug them into my skin. I didn’t want to think about any of theotherstuff. “It was my fault.”

“Don’t youdareblame yourself.Don’t. Us women, we’re always shouldering the blame for shitty men doing shitty things.”

“I said he could kiss me.”

“Was this before or after he got all up in your head? Some men are predictable little shits. What tactic did he use? I bet I can guess. The creepster special of love bombing?” She paused, waiting for a reaction. “Or did he go full dirtbag and make you question if you’re pretty or pit your self-worth against the homewrecker?”

Too many punches hit me all at once. “Mar…” A breath gasped in.

“So, all of the above, then.” She sighed. “I should’ve beaten his ass the day of the yard sale when I had the chance. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Fuck Ian.Fuck. Him.” She smacked one of the pillows with her fist before flashing me a sheepish smile. “Did Toby tell you to report Ian?”

“He did.”

“He sure is on fire lately, huh? And will you—report Ian, I mean?”

I shook my head. “Not right now.” The humiliation of walking into a police station and desecrating what was left of my reputation was not on my to-do list.

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