Page 104 of Push

“Because I don’t feelanythingfor you!”

“Stop lying to yourself!” Her fingers latched around my bicep and spun me around. “Please, Toby. I’ll take such good care of you.” Her eyes were wide with hope. “Come to my place. We can talk—”

“There’snothingfor us to talk about.” I yanked my arm free of her claws.

Kayleigh bit back a smile. “We can talk about how much you got off on kissing me.”

The shame burned my throat like acid. “Keep your voice down.”

She didn’t listen. Sheneverlistened. “No man kisses a woman like you did unless it means something. Youwantedme.”

“I missed Gwen.” The rough honesty choked my voice.

I’d chased memories of easier times in the most selfish way possible. Kissing Kayleigh hadn’t made the emptiness inside medisappear. It had only made me miss Gwen more. Dylan and I had talked it over in one of my sessions. Those weren’t his words, but I knew he meant that.

The guilt would never fade. I wouldn’t let it. Some nights, instead of staring at the ceiling, I tortured myself listening to Gwen’s voicemails from the night of the accident, imagining how different our lives might’ve been if I’d answered my phone. In my fantasy, the shadow in Gwen’s eyes faded, and she never waited for the next time I’d betray her. She loved me again.

“I love my wife.” It felt so natural to declare that.

“You deserve someone who never leaves you guessing. That’sme. Gwen’s never loved you. You were her one-way ticket off the trash heap away from her drunk mother—”

“Back the hell up.” My hand froze on the car door. “That’s not the first time you’ve said something like that to me. Where’d you hear that?”

Kayleigh’s teeth caught on her bottom lip, her gaze flicking sideways. “You,” she whispered.

Nice try, psycho.“I shot my stupid mouth off about a lot of things that were none of your damn business, but Gwen’s past is off-limits.”Even to me…“Who told you that?”

Her fingers knotted in her belt. She said nothing.

“Who?” I demanded.

She flinched at the sharpness in my voice. “S-Sarah.”

“My…” I shook my head. Maybe I hadn’t heard her right. “Mymother?”

Kayleigh crept closer, but I was too stunned to move out of her way.

“Toby, you’ll be so proud of me. I was with my parents at the yacht club last year, and I introduced myself. Your mum and I have become such good friends. She’s been teaching me how to cook.” The way her eyes dipped, her cheeks flushing pink, Ididn’t think cooking was the only lesson she’d learned under my mother’s careful teaching.

My confused mind only managed to spit out, “This is fucking crazy.”

“Toby, she misses you so much.”

I barked a laugh at the sky. “That woman is poison. She misses interfering in my life. She misses having control over me…my sister… The way she speaks about my wife sickens me to my soul. I wantnothingto do with her. Or you.Ever.”

I was done.

I flung open the car door, only turning to add, “You can tell that evil bitch every word I said the next time you see her for one of yourcookinglessons.”

And then I got the hell out of there.

I parked the car in the driveway, forcing down a breath. And another. My gaze slid to the glove compartment. All the ammunition I needed to explode my life into a thousand pieces was stuffed inside. But I needed to be honest with Gwen.

I threw my head back against the seat, my eyes screwed shut, and a punch of dread hit me in the gut.

I should’ve told Gwen weeks ago when I’d found the first note, but we were bouncing from crisis to crisis, and there was never a good time. And now…it was only good times.

We were almost living together under one roof again. The three of us ate dinner together every night. We went to Alfie’s birthday party, and even though Zach’s wife had given me the stink eye the entire afternoon, we’d had a pretty good time. Gwen had even agreed to change Noah’s swimming lesson to Saturday mornings. We’d take him together…as afamily.

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