Page 134 of Push

Gwen

“Toby, is everything okay?”

Silence shrunk the inside of the car to a suffocating cube. Toby hadn’t spoken two words since he pulled out from Cat’s place. He drove on autopilot, eyes trained on the dark road, and none of the thoughts popping in his head popped out of his mouth like I was used to:Is NoBo still asleep in the back…? Do we need milk…? Did you hear the joke about…

Nothing. Just silence.

“Toby?”

“Huh?” He glanced at me over his shoulder. “Oh. Yeah. Fine.”

“Are you sure? You’ve been quiet since lunch.”

“Yeah. Lunch. Sorry.”

I sighed. I was talking into a void. “Are you upset about Liam and Elias acting like jerks? I talked to them… Well, I talked to Elias.” I’d cornered him outside the bathroom. A couple of home truths and his eyes had drooped like a puppy scolded forwhizzing on the carpet. “Who knows where the hell Liam ended up…”

“Yeah.” Toby’s fingers tightened around the steering wheel. “Who knows?” His jaw tensed, too.

That was a strong reaction. I frowned. Had something happened? Liam enjoyed winding people up, and even though Toby laughed everything off like it was no big deal, maybe my brother had upset him.

“Cat’s excited for us to drop by for dinner next week,” I said. “She’s planning to make paella.”

“Dinner. Cool.”

Warning bells roared like the fire trucks hurtling past us on the road. Solemn Toby made my skin itch. I needed to try something different and get him out of his head. How did he always do that for me? Jokes.

“Maybe after dinner, the three of us can strap on our spacesuits and go for a spin around the solar system to have dessert on Saturn,” I said.

“The weather’s probably nice.”

My eyebrows hit the roof. Toby was already on another planet. Totally out of orbit. I reached over and squeezed his thigh—perhaps alittletoo high. He sucked in a massive gulp of air, eyes sparking and blinking like I’d just flipped his “on” button.

“G-Gwen?”

“Hey, there.” I smiled. “Welcome back.”

Toby slowed to a stop at a red light. “Sorry.” He flashed me a sheepish smile. “Just got a lot on my mind.”

“Want to talk about it?”

His head jerked back against the seat, eyes squeezing shut. “I don’t want any secrets between us, but I don’t even know where to start.”

He opened his eyes just in time to see the traffic light flick back to green. He cruised down the road, fingers drumming the steering wheel, faster and faster, until suddenly, they stopped.

“Gwen, if I found out something, and I knew—one hundred percentknew—it would break your heart, would you want to know?”

Fear knotted in my stomach so tight I hunched over.Break my heart?“Did you…?” There were a ton of women at Cat’s house.Prettywomen. Young. Rich.Oh, God, what if—

“No.” Toby grabbed my hand before I could snatch it away and laced our fingers together. “I know where your brain shot, and that’s not it. Never again. You’re the only one for me, okay?”

“Okay…” I didn’t convince myself with that one pitiful word. Him, either.

Toby let out a heavy sigh. “Liam told me something today,” he said. “About your past. Back when you were kids.”

“I don’t want to know,” I blurted out.

“Really?” Toby’s tone hinted at his disbelief.

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