Page 135 of Push

I sagged in the seat. I understood his confusion. Usually, I wanted to know all the facts, right down to the grisly details, but I didn’t enjoy lurking on the twists and turns of my childhood when wandering down memory lane.

I watched the city lights blur outside the car window. “Do you think it’s something I need to know?” I asked Toby. “Will it change anything?”

“Not for the better.”

“Then I don’t want to know. I worked hard, and I proved to everyone—tomyself—that I could be more than the poor kid from a broken home. If Liam’s dredging up ancient history about when we were kids, unless it’s too much on your shoulders to keep it a secret… No, I don’t want to know what he said.”

Toby jerked a nod. “Hearing you loud and clear.”

“But if Liam’s telling stories about all the shit he stole,” I smirked. “Sure, let’s chat.”

“Liam?” Toby’s eyebrow went up. “Sydney’s sleazy investment legendstolestuff?”

“Anything not nailed down. Off the record, he also had a bit of a fascination with arson.” I grimaced. “He might have stolen a couple of cars, too. Actually, more than a couple. He stole Mr. Angelopoulos’s orange Monaro from outside the all-night convenience store. I saw him do it. He stuck a wire clothes hanger down the window, just like the crooks do in the movies. I didn’t know you could actually break into a car like that until I watched him do it.” I shot Toby a wry smile. “I had an early introduction to my future career.”

Toby stared at me in complete disbelief. “And Liam never got pinged by the cops?”

“Uh.” I buried my teeth in my bottom lip. “Sometimes.”

“What was that?” Toby’s eyes flicked between me and the road. “What was that look?”

“Uh… Imayhave had something to do with him not getting done over.” I cleared my throat. “Just once or twice.”

Toby’s jaw dropped somewhere near the brakes.“You lied to the cops for him?You?”His eyes widened. “Gwen!”

“Look, he got pulled up by the cops plenty of times. I spent half of my life picking him up from the police station. Other times, well… I didn’tlie… I just, um, kind of…” Conveniently left out all the crucial details. Yeah, I’d lied. I sighed. “It’s hard to explain.”

“Try. Please. You’re rocking my whole straitlaced world off its wheels here.”

I shrugged. “He’s my brother.”

“The man is unhinged.”

“He went through a lot, Tobes. My mother blamed him for our father leaving—whoever that deadbeat was. She took her anger out on Liam. All of it. She only stopped when he got so muchbigger than her. That’s when she really dove into the alcohol.” My breath stalled in my chest, and I shook my head. “I should’ve done more to protect him.”

“Hey.” Toby’s hand landed on mine, squeezing to stop me from fidgeting with the hem of my dress. “You were a kid, too. Don’t put all that responsibility on your shoulders.”

“But maybe I could’ve helped him before he became so…broken. After he left, when I saw online that he was living this amazing life, I fooled myself into believing what happened hadn’t affected him. I thought he’d found a way to move past all the terrible things she did. I thought he was okay.” I shook my head. “He’s not.”

“You worry about him?”

“Every day,” I admitted. “His birthday is the only night I ever let myself remember the worst of it, though. Every other day, I only give the thoughts a few minutes of airtime. It’s not healthy for me to dwell in those memories.” I squeezed Toby’s thigh—high up again. He squeaked with surprise, and it made me laugh. “I left that life behind me after I met the handsome knight.”

“That’s me, right?”

I rolled my eyes. “Obviously.”

“Hell, yeah.” Toby pumped his fist. “I like being the knight. That dude rides a cool horse and slays dragons with a big sword.” He glanced over the console at me, his face solemn. “You know I’d slay dragons for you, right?”

“I know.” I lifted his hand and pressed a quick kiss on his fingers. His eyes bulged. “And despite everything thrown your way, you acted like a true gentleman today, Tobes.”

“Are you proud of me?” he whispered.

The soft, hopeful look flooding his eyes almost broke my heart. My Toby. Nothing but a big ol’ teddy bear desperate for someone to love him. I gave his hand another kiss. “So damn proud.”

“That’s the stuff. Hear that, NoBo?” He glanced in the rearview mirror to grin at the sleeping baby strapped in the back. “Your mama’s proud of me for not punching her stupid brother in the face today.”

That comment earned him another eye roll. “You wouldn’t have punched him.”

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