Page 17 of Push

My car was hit by some moron not looking before changing lanes. We’re okay, but can you come? We’re on the Harbor Bridge, just past the tunnel.

They’re towing the car. Can you pick us up now?

The elevator chimed. I was in. A frantic push of more buttons, and the elevator was moving.

Please call me.

Toby, please. Did you get my voicemails? We need you.

Please.

Voicemails?

Frantic, I swiped through my phone and checked the missed calls. Gwen. Marnie. Kayleigh. Too many names.Christ. I ignored every number and focused on my wife. My phone was already at my ear when I burst from the elevator, barreled through the lobby, and raced down the street. The car was…Fuck!Outside Kayleigh’s, about two blocks over. I started running.

The robotic voice of the automated menu crackled in my ear.

“Message received. Yesterday. 6:11 p.m.”

My chest heaving, legs burning, I didn’t slow down. My memory was fuzzy, but I remembered this call. I’d declined it.Gwen can wait. Kayleigh had needed help carrying food out to the balcony. I liked helping out. It had felt good to be useful for once.

The message started.

“T-Toby… It’s… me.”

I stopped dead, all the life sucked from my lungs. Gwen’s voice, but…it wasn’t. There was a waver, an uncertainty I wasn’t used to hearing. Unsettled, I swallowed. She wasneveruncertain.

“There was, um…” Her breath hitched. “We’ve been in an accident. We need you. Call me back as soon as you get this.”

My hand caught the cold metal of the bus stop as my knees buckled, and my broken laugh filled the empty street. My wife and son had needed me. And what had I done? Declined Gwen’s call. I hadn’t even bothered to check my phone because I had no idea where it was. I’d never thought to text her back. Never thought to call.

I forced my feet down the pavement and hit the button to play the next message.

The high-pitched wail of a baby pierced the air. Noah. Gwen’s voice was almost frantic—nothing like her.

“Toby, did you get my messages? We’re still stuck here. The car’s a write-off. We need to be picked up. Please.” A desperate edge hitched her voice. “Please, can you call me back?”

I hit play again. A fissure had already cracked my chest wide open. I didn’t want to hear any more but forced myself to listen to every word.

Gwen’s next message started.

A helpless, broken voice I’d never heard filled the silence. “Toby, where are you? Please, don’t leave me on my own.”

Shame scalded my veins. My stomach revolted against the white-hot burn of guilt in my chest, and I shot for the nearest hedge just as the vomit surged out of me. The knot in my gut was still clenched tight when I slumped against the car.

Gwen’s words shredded my heart over and over again. Nothing stopped them from replaying in my mind.

Please, don’t leave me on my own.

I’d promised her I’d never abandon her like her brother. I’d vowed to cherish her until the day I died. And where had I been? Helping my wife? Looking after my kid? No. I’d been at Kayleigh’s having a great time, screwing up my marriage, and destroying my life.

I glanced at the apartment complex looming above me. Kayleigh wasn’t there, but I made two new vows as I glared at the fourth-story balcony.

Gwen and Noah first, always. No more alcohol, ever.

I unlocked the car and hopped in. After a deep breath in, reversing, and getting the hell out of there, the rest of the voicemails played.

An angry voice barked at me through the phone. Marnie. “Tobes, answer your phone, dipshit. I’m on my way to the accident, but you’d do yourself a lot of favors if you got there first, okay?”

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