Page 173 of Push

A smile froze on my face. “His son…” My mouth was cotton. I slid a look at Gwen. Panicked eyes glanced back. Was she worried I was going to freak out? I wasn’t. This was ridiculous. There wasn’t some secret love child. There was only… “Ian.” Gwen nodded like that was the answer. Thatcouldn’tbe the answer. “I don’t—it can’t—it’s—that’swrong.”

“Toby, I think it might be the truth.”

“It’s not!Ian’s not my…my…” I launched off the bed. Gwen reached out her hand, but I took a step back. “This is just my mother creating more drama! She never liked Ian or his mum. Dad was the one who always pushed that—”

“Why do you think he did that?”

“Not because we’rebrothers! My mother’s just making shit up!”

Gwen edged closer, but I flung myself out of reach.

“Toby, I looked at every photo I could find. You guys look nothing alike but also…kinda…the same. Your dad…and you…and Ian. This dimple.” She poked her finger into her cheek. “Right here.”

“What?I can’t believe I’m hearing this! You’re buying her lies?You?”I paced across the floor, shoving down every emotion clawing at me, desperate to keep calm. My kid was asleep in the next room. I couldn’t lose my shit. “You’re supposed to be onmyside!She’s lying!”

But the more I paced across the suite, letting it all sink in while Gwen sat silently on her knees, her eyes never leaving me, the more it made sense.

My parents had a strained relationship behind closed doors. For years and years, my mother’s fury had been hidden under the fake smiles my father had coaxed from her before they’d walked into a room.

“At least pretend to love me, Sarah,” he’d said.

We’d all pretended.

Tanya and I had played board games when the arguments echoed through the walls. We’d ignored the hours my mother had spent in the kitchen, sipping wine, muttering to herself that Dad had disappeared again—“With her.”

Our family had never been falling apart. We’d been perfect. That was the lie we’d all lived by.

And who was my father…really? I’d never spent much time with him. He’d rocked up to rugby matches and played the proud dad when it suited him, but mostly, I was a disappointment. I was stupid. A bit too soft. He’d hated that I’d avoided every suggestion of working in the family business and dreamed of doing good in the world with my own two hands.

But Ian…

He hated being a dentist. I never understood why he’d even applied to dental school in the first place. He’d turned getting accepted into some kind of competition, taunting me with how easily he’d breezed through his schoolwork. But he’d turned aspale as a ghost when I’d stood up at dinner the week after results came out, bursting with pride to announce I’d made it in. Somehow. Thanks to Gwen.

Ian didn’t care about using his hands or being a dentist. He’d always wanted to be a property developer.Like Dad.He’d interned at the office. The two of them had shot the breeze for hours about boring shit likestocksandoptions. Ian schmoozed, drank expensive scotch, and used women for his own pleasure, proudly boasting about his conquests to anyone who’d listen.

Just like Dad.

My knees went weak. Shock crumbled me into a heap on the carpet. Gwen must have leaped off the bed and sprinted for me. Her arms were around me before I hit the floor. I wasn’t sure I’d ever held on to her so tight. I was numb. I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. Everything I thought I knew was imploding, but the one true thing was that Gwen wasthere.

And I clung to that woman—that feeling—for dear life.

53

She Took the Lead

Gwen

Night crept across thehotel room. It wasn’t pitch black. Hints of busy city lights and the glow from rooms in the building across the street filtered through the drapes.

Toby’s silhouette was rigid on the bed beside me. The room was silent. Every so often, voices drifted past to disappear behind closed doors, but Toby didn’t say a word. He’d been staring at the same spot on the ceiling for at least an hour. No laughs. No jokes. Just…nothing. He was lost somewhere in troubled thoughts.

I inched my pillow closer, reaching for him, my hand only brushing his shoulder before falling to the cold sheets.

“It’s going to be okay,” I whispered.

My words weren’t convincing. Even I could hear the wobble of doubt in my voice. How many more battles could we fight? How much longer could we tread water when we were drowningin never-ending drama? All we ever seemed to do was dodge obstacle after obstacle.

And yet…

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