Page 30 of Push

My phone was already in my hand. I dialed Gwen’s number. Of course she didn’t pick up.

Toby

Gwen, I’m so sorry. I made so many mistakes. I’m going to make changes so I don’t make them again.

She didn’t respond.

I sighed, but I didn’t let the defeat derail me. My social media page stared back at me. I took a deep breath and started typing.

Two days ago, I made the most selfish decision of my life. I forgot my vows. I forgot my honor. Worst of all, I hurt my wife. Gwen, no amount of apologizing will take back what I did, but I’ll never stop trying to make this right. I’m sorry.

Another deep breath was all I needed to hit post. I snapped a screenshot and dropped it in a message to Gwen.

Toby

I know you blocked me everywhere except here, but I wanted you to see I’m owning up to my mistakes.

There was no point in expecting a response. Gwen’s heart was a cracked lump of ice. One post wouldn’t change that. Instead of dwelling on the empty screen, I opened a new search.

Psychologists in Sydney.

If Gwen ever talked to me again, I wanted to be ready. I wanted to be better…or at least taking the first steps.

11

She Received an Apology

Gwen

“Why do you hateme?” Marnie wailed. “I thought we were friends!”

She staggered into the kitchen as if I’d dragged her through a three-hour bootcamp instead of a ten-minute workout video.

I could only shake my head. “Mar, youcan’tbe this unfit.”

She collapsed in a heap on the kitchen stool. “You underestimate me, babe. My body’s a work of art.Au naturel. I wasn’t built for all this exercise nonsense.” She sniffed her armpit and made a face. “Yeah, Idefinitelywasn’t built for it.”

I wandered over to the pantry and searched for a distraction. Tapping my fingernails on the door, I asked, “You want anything?”

“There’s no way I’ll be able to keep anything down until my core temperature has returned to chill-out mode.”

“You didoneten-minute workout.”

“Hey! Judgmental fit person! I want to remind you that you never mentioned exercise when you asked me over for moral support.”

Disappointed with the snacks in the pantry, I walked back to the counter and raided the leftover banana bread I’d stress-baked the night before. I shoved a bit in my mouth.

“What else were we supposed to do?” I gobbled up another bite. “We were going stir-crazy. We needed to do something.”

“We?” Marnie’s mouth dropped open in disbelief.“Wewere going stir-crazy? I’m no legal guru like you, but I object to that statement, Your Honor.”

I dodged her objection by stuffing the rest of the banana bread in my mouth. Okay, the “we”part was a stretch. Marnie would’ve been perfectly happy lounging on the couch, reading trashy magazines and gossiping about her new neighbor’s rather vocal sex life. I was the one too restless to sit still. Waiting for Toby to bring Noah home was excruciating.

My eyes stayed glued to my phone, constantly checking the time and scrolling for new messages. Toby had sent plenty of cute photos of Noah and their adventures around the park. It hadn’t helped. My nerves stayed twisted tight.

Not because I was worried about Noah. He was safe with his daddy. No, I’d bitten my fingernails down to nothing because every minute ticking by was another minute closer to Toby coming home.

My first face-to-face conversation with him sincetheday had been awkward, to say the very least.

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