Page 32 of Push

When I got to the front door, my hand wouldn’t turn the knob. The doorbell rang again. I didn’t let the noise rattle me. I counted—one, two, three—dragging in breaths and buying myself a few seconds more.

Mature. Rational. The bigger person.I can do this.

My plan flew out the window when I pulled open the door. I was greeted with Toby’s huge grin and a glimpse of Noah, conked out in his baby carrier, before a bunch of white roses were shoved under my nose.

“What are those?” I demanded.

Toby’s grin grew wider. “Dunno. Unicorn feathers?”

Fabulous. The jokester was out. Toby must’ve been feeling as awkward as I was. “And what do you suppose I do with them?” Jamming those flowers where the sun didn’t shine was a great place to start.

“You could try a vase. I’ve heard rumors flowers like water. I’m really not sure.” He pointed to the sleeping baby strapped to his chest. “You see, it was all NoBo’s idea. He insisted I buy them.”

I folded my arms and stared at Toby, deadpan. “Noah insisted?”

“Uh-huh. When I took him to the park, he wouldn’t stop blabbing about how pretty you are and how I needed to buy you something nice. There was no time to go on the swing. It wasrosesthis…rosesthat…” Toby exaggerated an eye roll. “You know how he is sometimes—sopushy.”

If he thought he could win me over with his schoolboy antics, he was dead wrong. I used to think we were perfectly balanced. I was the grumpy nerd. He was the lovable dork. We worked. Now, Toby’s joking around just annoyed the shit out of me.

“Are you done?” I said.

He sighed. “Gwen, the flowers are a nice gesture. Even I’m not dumb enough to think it will make any difference after what I did.” He thrust the roses out again for me to take. “They’ll look pretty on the kitchen windowsill. Accepting these doesn’t mean you’ve accepted my apology.”

“Your apology?” Was this another one of his jokes? “Funny, I don’t remember hearing an apology.”

Toby’s head tilted. He seemed genuinely confused. “The day of the yard sale. In our bedroom. I said I was sorry. And my messages…”

“Oh,thatwas your apology?”

“I know you don’t think my words mean much—”

“Why bother saying anything? Your actions speak volumes.”

Toby sucked in a sharp breath. “Iamsorry, Gwen—”

“Because you got caught.”

“That’s not why. For once, I’m going to be serious, okay?” I wasn’t sure if he was promising me or himself. “I’ve had nothing but time to think this last week. I thought about the last month… The last year… Honestly, I don’t know the exact moment I first screwed up because… Gwen, there aresomany times I screwed up.”

The prosecution rests, Your Honor.

Toby’s eyes flicked down when my foot started tapping, but he shook off my impatience to say what he thought he needed to. “I’m ashamed of what I did and how I treated you. It was my job to protect you, and there I was, the person hurting you the most. I was so wrapped up in the clinic and worrying about how things had changed between us that I didn’t stop to think about you.”

“No. You didn’t. That’s okay. I figured you were keeping busy after seeing Kayleigh’s latest post.”

“I blocked her number. I avoid her at work. I certainly don’t talk to her or surf through the shitstorm of lies she’s telling on social media.”

I pulled out my phone and swiped through my photos. Under the screenshot I’d snapped of Kayleigh lounging over a black SUV, sniffing a single pink rose, was the caption I read aloud, “He always spoils me.”

Toby’s hand covered my phone. “Stop, Gwen.” His request was spoken gently. “Not for me. Foryou. I know you don’t trust me—”

“That’syourcar in her photo.”

“Kayleigh’s lying. I worked until ten o’clock last night on an emergency root canal. Judy stuck around to lock up and dropped me off at the hotel because I was too exhausted to drive safely. I left my car at the clinic overnight. Call the hotel. Talk to Judy. Here”—he held out his phone—“check it. I’ve got nothing to hide. I wasn’t with Kayleigh last night or any night.”

“Except the night of the party.”

Toby’s lips pressed flat, but he didn’t dodge my accusation. “Except the night of the party.” He leaned his shoulder against the doorway, the bunch of flowers falling to his side. “Gwen, I don’t understand where we went off the rails. I’ve loved you since I was sixteen, but I know I stopped showing you. I’m going to change that. You’re my number one.” He peeked downat Noah with a smile.“Ournumber one, hey, little dude? Yeah, we’ll prove it.”

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