Page 34 of Push

“Poorly timed humor?”

“Obviously.”

“More flowers?”

I shook my head. “I cooked some dinners for her to put in the freezer. You know, to make the nights easier for her now she’s on her own. She just stood there staring at the containers as if I were trying to poison her or something.”

His eyebrow lifted. “You didn’t cook her that apricot chicken, did you?”

“Hey, my grandma used to make me that chicken! It was my favorite dinner growing up.”

Ian’s fingers stilled on the middle button of his coat. “So, youdidmake dear old Granny Sullivan’s apricot chicken?” He looked at me a little too long, a little too sharp, before smirking.

“Of course I made the stupid chicken.”

“A classic Toby move.”

I grumbled, “I think I need some new moves.”

“No doubt.” Ian laughed. “Want some tips?”

“Fromyou?No.”

Ian only laughed louder. His palm splayed over his heart. “Mate, I’m wounded.”

“Sorry, no offense, but I’m trying to win Gwen back, not push her further away.” And I was doing a bang-up job of failing on both fronts. I didn’t admit that to him, though. “Your revolving door of blondes isn’t something I’m aiming for.”

“Mate, I don’t do that anymore. That shit got old.” He avoided my questioning look by focusing on fastening the buttons of his dental coat. “When the right woman’s in your life, it’s time to risk everything. Settle down. You know that.”

True, I did, but I didn’t say anything. Instead, I gulped down the last of my coffee and pitched the empty cup into the recycling bin.

Ian slouched against the lockers, his hands in his pockets, and his head cocked to the side. The bastard was always watching. He was like Gwen. Too much thinking went on in his head.

“Mate, is something else going on?” he asked. “With everything happening with Gwen, I’ve given you some space, but…” He lifted his shoulder. “I feel like you’re avoiding me.”

I was.

I’d dodged him at work last week and steered clear of the gym. Every time he’d sent a message asking to catch up, I’d fobbed him off with some flimsy excuse. It wasn’t like me, and he’d noticed.

Usually, I was energized by dragging other people into my orbit. I preferred noise to floating aimlessly on my own. I was a vampire, sucking the life out of everyone, stealing it to complete myself. Yet another flaw to cover with the psychologist. That appointment couldn’t come quickly enough.

I wasn’t about to have a heart-to-heart with Ian, though. I’d spent too many hours staring at the empty car park at the hotel, replaying the night of the party in my head.

I don’t need a front-row seat.

My hand clenched. My breathing slowed. I sized Ian up. I was ready, but I didn’t move. I called on every last bit of my self-control not to stalk over and punch him in the face.

His forehead wrinkled, watching me closer.

I wasn’t smart like Gwen. Or him. I was shit at handling conflict. Should I risk hurtling down this road with my best mate? Even though I’d screwed up in ways I’d never imagined I was capable of, there was some sliver of a decent man left in me. Hell yes, Ineededto say something.

I leveled my eyes on Ian. No joking around. Deadly serious. “You knew what was going to happen at Kayleigh’s that night.” He opened his mouth to deny it, but I was too quick off the mark. “Don’t bother bullshitting me. You told me you had me covered. You said you didn’t want a front-row seat and left me there.”

Ian braced his hands on his hips and let out a tired sigh. “Mate, what do you want me to say? You and Kay are joined at the hip. No one else listens to her shit, but you hang off every damn word.”

“I do not!”

The look he shot at me was dubious. “Look, maybe no one else noticed how close you two were getting, but I sure as shit did.”

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