Page 44 of Push

“Job interviews?”

“Yeah, you know… Get a job? Earn money?” I slipped on the other stiletto. I still wasn’t at eye level with Toby, but somehow, I stood ten feet tall wearing my old work clothes. Jumping at shadows and fighting to forget Ian’s fingers on my skin? Not in that suit. “Bills don’t get paid with thin air.”

“No, they don’t, but—”

“But nothing.”

“But.” Toby’s tone was more insistent. “I can keep paying the bills. We planned for this. We thought it would be best for NoBo if you stayed home for now.”

“Things have changed.”

“Our marriage has changed, but we’re raising this little dude together. Is getting a job what youwant,Gwen?”

“Iwanta husband who isn’t a cheating dog.”

Toby scrubbed a hand over his chin but didn’t bite back. “I know my screw-ups ruined our plans, but answer me this one question honestly. Please. Is getting a job again so soon what youwant?” His eyebrows rose, questioning me. “You haven’t worked since—”

“Don’t you dare.” My fists balled at my sides. “You just couldn’t wait to take a shot at me about me not working, could you?”

“I wasn’t taking a shot. I’m just trying to understand—”

“How could youeverunderstand?”

“I can’t! I can’t understand because you shut me out! Every damn time, Gwen! If we could talk about what happened that day—”

My snort of frustration cut off his words. “It’s a bit late for you to start caring now, don’t you think?” I folded my arms defensively across my chest.

“That’s not fair, and you know it. I told you we could fight those bastards if that’s what you wanted.” Toby drove a hand through his hair. “We should’ve made their life hell.”

Frustration surged hot through my veins. “Why fight the inevitable?” Everything was easy for Toby. He had no idea how the real world worked when you didn’t have a trust fund and a good family name to save you. “Because you wanted to play white knight and save the trailer trash from the big bad boss? Oh,please.”

Instead of bombarding me with denials, Toby grew quiet. His brows furrowed, he watched me tug down the bottom of my jacket and dart nervous eyes up and down the hallway. Why was he insisting on talking about this now? I smoothed the non-existent flyaway hairs on top of my head. Was I ever escaping this damn house?

“Gwen…” Toby’s hand reached out, but he pulled it back when my eyes widened. “Is everything okay?”

I snapped, “Of course it is.”

“Are you sure?” His voice lowered to the aching, gentle rumble that used to be followed by one of the world’s warmest cuddles. “I know you, doll. Talk to me.”

“You don’t have to do any of this”—I waved a hand in the space between us—“anymore. We’re finished.”

Toby’s eyes misted, but he jerked his chin down in a nod. “I’m here for you no matter what.”

Only a dull thump filled the yawning gap in my chest.God, if only that were true.“You’re not.” I squeezed my eyes shut. In the flickering black, I was trapped in the corner, Ian’s mouth biting a wet trail down my neck… Only this time, my big, brave Toby burst through the door and ripped him off me. “You’renothere.”

“Gwen.” I could hear the hitch in his voice, but I refused to look up. “What happened?”

“N-nothing.”

“Tell me.”

Shaking my head, I shuddered in a breath, but the hollow only ached more. I remembered all the nights Toby had curled beside me, stroking his fingers down my back and whispering silly stories to distract me until I fell asleep. But he wasn’t here anymore. There was no one to help me pause the thoughts colliding in my head. This was my shame. My secret. Toby wasn’t part of this anymore. He’d made his choice.

I straightened my lapel, smoothed the front of my jacket, and stood tall. When I lifted my chin, I made sure my face was expressionless. I wasn’t weak. I was strong.

“I want to get a job,” I said, careful to keep the fear from rattling my voice.

Toby waited another beat, his eyes still questioning, until he eventually sighed. “And I want you to be happy. I knowyour career’s important to you. If you want to work again, I’ll step up and do what needs to be done to make that happen, but—”

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