Page 48 of Push

My sigh was so heavy I felt it in my bones. “I miss her. I don’t know how I let everything run so far off the rails, NoBo. She’s my dream girl. I love your mamasofuckingmuch.”

Noah blinked.

“Uh.” I darted a guilty look around the kitchen. “Don’t tell her I said a curse word in front of you, okay? I’m already in big trouble.”

Noah held out his banana again. “Ba?”

This time, I leaned over and nibbled off the top.

Noah’s tiny mouth dropped open, and he stared at his banana. His chubby chin wrinkled. His face scrunched up. And then the wailing started.

Minus one thousand points to Team Daddy.

It was going to be a long day.

I ticked Noah’s nap off the list in the daily planner. My knees were about ready to buckle. I’d happily collapse in a heap and take a nap with him if that were an option. How did Gwen do this day in and day out?

Running around between Noah’s social events was exhausting enough, but there was no downtime even when I was at home chilling.

You needed two eyes on that wriggler. I couldn’t go to the bathroom without hauling him along to make sure he didn’t get up to mischief. The little dude couldn’t crawl yet, but he rolled like a champion. A few flips across the floor and anything not pinned down would end up in his mouth…includingmybanana.

I’d just flopped on the couch when my phone buzzed with a message from Gwen.

Fair Lady Gwendolyn

Last-minute interview. Can you take the rest of the afternoon off work?

More time with Noah? Hell yeah! I was already responding when my phone buzzed again.

Don’t worry. I can call in a favor with Marnie.

Almost dumbstruck, I gaped at my phone. I’d already taken the whole day off work. Judy had spat the dummy and rantedand raved at me for nearly ten minutes when I’d told her to reschedule my patients. But how many times had I prioritized work over my family? Too many. It showed in Gwen’s message. She didn’t trust me to have her back when she needed someone.

I quickly typed my reply.

Toby

Off all day. Everything’s going great here.

I grimaced. Kind of a lie.

Slay the dragons, my fair lady. Good luck!

I wanted to end the message with lovey-dovey good wishes, x’s, and o’s, but my finger paused over the screen. I didn’t want to derail Gwen. Getting a job was important to her. No, it was more than important. Chasing her dreams waseverything.

I’d caught a glimpse of the old Gwen standing in the doorway that morning. Confident, all done up in her suit, hands on her hips, ready to take on the world—that was the woman I remembered. My heart had soared. I hadn’t seen her eyes spark with determination like that in—hell—more than a year.

I missed her.

That Gwen had disappeared the night she’d walked through the front door with her work stuff in a box. I thought she’d bounce back, but it was as if she’d hidden that part of her life between the certificates she’d taken off the wall, stuffed it in the garage with the rest of our junk, and forgotten about it.

Falling back against the couch, I stared at the ceiling like so many other times in the last year. My thoughts spun. Gwen hadn’t forgotten a damn thing. Time had stopped that night. We were frozen. Stuck.

Why?

Frustration tugged at my nerves. How could I fix this?Us?I had nothing in my toolbox. No strategies. My parents hadn’t set the best example. My father used to disappear for weeks when shit hit the fan and find his solutions in the company of other women.

My rueful laugh barked into the empty living room.

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