Page 69 of Push

I sighed.

What a disaster.

How had we lasted so many years together if we were so terrible at talking to each other about important issues? Was it truly just because we’d avoided all the difficult conversations and buried our problems with sex and Toby’s endless jokes?

Conflict was nearly impossible for me. My childhood had taught me to be on the defensive, waiting for my mother to implode and strike out at me, or worse, at Liam. She’d had no restraint when he’d pushed her buttons. None at all. Life had been easier when we’d stayed invisible.

I’d summoned so much courage not to be invisible and speak up about Kayleigh. When Toby had laughed away my worries like they were no big deal, I was right back in that apartment, avoiding the eventual implosion. Now, my courage was fueled by anger and betrayal, and he wasn’t laughing anymore.

“Toby, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, of course.” He turned to look at me for the first time. His smile was tight. “Everything’s—” He exhaled sharply, and his hand curled tight around the edge of the crib. “You know what? No. Everything’snotokay.” His voice was quiet, but it was rough, almost broken. “What the hell is he doing here, Gwen?”

“Who? Liam?”

Toby glared at me. We both knew exactly who he was talking about.

“He needed me to look over his contract,” I said.

“Because he’s your new boss?”

“That’s right.”

“Did you choose to work for him just to teach me some screwed-up lesson because I messed up so badly with Kayleigh?”

“I’m not even dignifying that ridiculous question with a response.”

“So, your new boss, who justhappensto be your rich, fuckboy brother—”

“Toby!”

“He abandoned you!” His grip tightened around the crib, but the pitch of his voice dropped even lower. “He walked out and left you to deal with your mother on your own for two whole years before you got out of that hellhole.”

“You don’t understand—”

“He forgot all your birthdays. He didn’t bother coming to our wedding. Or your graduation. Did he even know he had a nephew? Does he even care? No calls. No cards. Nothing! You won’t forgive me, but you can forgivehim?”

In my heart, there was nothing to forgive my brother for. I’d been devastated when he’d left, but I’d understood why he’d disappeared from my life. “You can’t know what it was like for us growing up.” No one should understand days that dark.

“Of course I can’t! You’ve barely told me anything! You lock me out of everything important, Gwen! The truth about your brother, your job—”

“Don’t youdarebring that up now.”

“When can I?” Why had Toby bothered asking? He knew the answer—never. “I hate that he’s here, Gwen. Inourhome. After everything he’s missed.” His grip on the crib relaxed, but the sharp edge to his voice was still there. “Ihateit.”

All I spat back was, “Too bad.”

What a waste of time. I charged out the door into the hallway. Toby’s footsteps were quick behind me.

“That’s it?Too bad?”He almost laughed. “And then you just storm off?”

I spun around and jerked up my chin to face him. “Youmade your choice.Youchose that girl over your family. You don’t get to pretend like you give a shit about anything that happens in this house when youdidn’t care for months! You spent more time covering your tracks with Ian than caring what happened to your son!”

“Christ, not this shit again. Iwasn’tcovering my tracks. Ask him!”

“I don’t have to ask Ian anything. He told me himself.”

Toby went very still. “When did he talk to you?”

---