Page 74 of Push

“Of course you fucking are.”

I laughed in complete disbelief. “This isn’t real. Why are you saying this? Youloveher? You were my best fucking man when I married her!”

“Watching you marry Gwen was one of the worst moments of my life. You have no fucking idea how hard that day was for me.”

“Fuck off. You were so drunk I doubt you remember a single second of my wedding.”

“Why do you think that was? Hey? We grew up together. You’re my friend—Jesus—more than that, Tobes.Family, even. I’ve tried to push my feelings aside and focus on what’s best for you…and for her…but…”

“But you were prepared to tear my life apart? Tear my whole fuckingfamilyapart?”

“I’m not proud of what I did. For a while, I thought I could block her out. All those other women, you know? I thought… Fuck, half the time, I wasn’t thinking… Just… I let it eat away at me. When you started up with Kayleigh, I thought… Well, you were so interested in her I thought I’d finally have my chance to make it right with Gwen.”

“I was never interested in Kayleigh!”

“Man, come on. You wasted every spare second with Kay. Coffee. Lunches. Helping her carry shit from her car. Gwen was struggling, and you ignored her. Did you ever bother sending her a fucking message? No. I did. Did you know that? If Gwen was my girl, I’d treat her like a damn queen.”

“How? With one of your magic fucking sleeping pills? Bylyingto her?”

“I’m not proud of how I’ve acted, but Gwen needed to know the truth.”

“Everything you told her was a lie!”

“That’s just it. It wasn’t.” Ian lifted his gaze to challenge me. “And you know it.”

I shook my head.

“Yeah, man,” Ian said. “Youknowit. You fucked around on her—”

“One kiss!”

“Do you hear yourself right now? You think that makes what you did okay?” Ian barked a laugh. “You wanted Kay’s attention on you. You liked it. You were ready to cast aside an amazing woman…for…who? Some bimbo who posts thirst traps of her tits and laughs at your jokes? You don’t deserve Gwen.”

My glare on Ian never wavered, but the truth hit me harder in the chest than his fist ever could. He was right. But not one word changed what he’d done or the fact I’d never be able to trust him again.

“You and me,” I said. “We’re no longer friends.”

“Toby, what the fuck? This is crazy—”

“Nah, mate. This is the sanest decision I’ve ever made. I choose Gwen. Maybe she won’t choose me, and maybe Idon’tdeserve her, but I won’t let her down again. You talk about family, but you don’t understand the meaning of the word. I do. And I’m telling you right now,myfamily comes first, and the time has come for us to focus on only keeping good people in our lives. You’ve proven to me I can’t trust you. You’re not my friend. You’re nothing.”

I turned to leave, but Ian’s hand seized my shoulder. With a hard pull, he tried to yank me back. “Toby, don’t be stupid—”

I jerked my shoulder away from his hand and grabbed my phone off the counter. “Don’t call me stupid!”

“Yeah, man… Yeah…” Ian raised his palms. “Come on, we can talk and figure it out. Hit me a hundred times if you want… But just… Don’t walk out of here angry, okay? We’ve been friends our whole lives. That’s worthsomething.”

“Yeah, I thought so, too.”

And I intended those to be the last words I ever spoke to him.

24

She Battled Her Fears

Gwen

Squinting to blot outthe afternoon sun, I pushed the stroller along the path, my pace slowing as I peered around the endless green.

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