Page 68 of When Love Gives You Lemons
Startled by his admission, I say nothing. Am I too boring for him?
“JK, JK,” Cam says. “Sounds like a blast.” He avoids looking at me. Nonno always told me when people avoid direct eye contact, they’re lying.
“Nah, it’s fine,” I say. “I do have some stuff to square with Sienna, and Topher asked me to help plan something for Sienna with Fielder, so maybe—”
“Can we have one day where we don’t talk about Fielder?” He tips the rest of the cappuccino into his mouth in one swift gulp, and his nostrils flare.
“I thought you two were cool?” I ask.
“I’m fine, it’s just a lot, being around him. All day, all night. Watching him laugh with your parents. Theylovehim. I don’t think your mom has said two words to me.”
“She doesn’t know you, Cam.” I wince.
“I know you guys have history, but . . .” He takes a deep breath. “Whatever. I just don’t trust him.”
“You don’t know him, Cam.”
Nothing hammers my wood quite like someone going after someone I lo—
I catch myself.
Anyway. I can say whatever I want about Fielder, but if someone else says a word, it makes me want to take a sledgehammer to a cinder block. I grind my jaw and ask myself what Nonno would do. He’d center himself andlisten.
“I know what you told me for months. How he spent so much time on his phone that he ignored you. How he blocked you soyou couldn’t even talk to him.Iwas there for you, remember? You don’t have Clock or anything, so you wouldn’t know, but he’s using you for likes.” He grabs his phone and taps the screen until he pulls up Fielder’s channel, flashing me the screen. “Watch the last two. At least read the comments. Apparently, you two were a hot commodity once upon a time. You didn’t tell me that.”
“I don’t need to. Whatever Fielder posts has nothing to do with me.” I never cared about being on @LemonAtFirstSight, and I don’t care now. It made Fielder happy, excited, and if the comments are blowing up from something involving me, let them. “The comment section isnotreal life, and I feel bad for the people who live there.”
He scoffs.
“How deep of a dive did you do?” I ask.
“Deep enough to know his fans love Rickder-Fieldy content.” His face scrunches, and his eyes go glassy. “The comment section noticed you in the background of his latest, and the way he edited it really makes it seem like he’s hinting at something. I think he’s using you being here to help boost his Clock videos.” Cam’s hands are shaking as he sets his phone down in front of me. “Guess they don’t know Fielder wrecked you.”
“I know you’re looking out for me,” I say, “but—”
“I don’t want him using you.”
“Don’t you think I can decide that for myself?”
“You don’t seem to have the best judgment,” Cam says through gritted teeth.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
He crosses his arms. “I’m sick of feeling like I’m second to Fielder.”
“When do I—”
“This whole week, I’ve heard stories from your family how you and Fielder used to be this iconic couple.” Cam’s pacing back and forth, and he looks like he’s on the verge of tears. “I’ve seen it for myself on Clock, too. I get it, there’s history.” I grab his hands and lead him to the café table by the balcony railing where I sit him down. “I see how you’ve acted just leading up to coming here, knowing you’d be around Fielder. You were together for your entire lives basically. But we’ve been together for six months, and you won’t even properly have a conversation where we define our relationship.” His legs are shaking restlessly.
“What do you mean?”
“Like, are we actually boyfriends?”
“I call you my boyfriend,” I say.
“That’s not the same,” Cam says. “And you know it. Every time I ask you if we can, like, define our relationship, you say, ‘We’re dating.’ ”
I nod. “We’re dating, yeah.”
