Page 99 of When Love Gives You Lemons
“Life is short,” Zia Rosa says. “You never know what’s going to happen next. That’s a blessing and a curse. The beauty is you get to figure it out. Every step you take is a step forward. It’s all how you look at it. Whatever you do, as long as it servesyou, not anybody else, that’s all that matters. What do the kids say? ‘No regrets’?”
Matty rolls his eyes at his mom. “Main character energy!”
“Oh, what a unique saying,” Zia Gab says unironically. “I love it! I have main character energy!” She waves her hand over her head like a spotlight.
“Sure do,” Ma says. “We’ll never hear the end of that one now.”
Main character energy is considered a bad thing, but . . . why? Sure, I’m extra AF and act like the center of the universe, but it’s always been because I never felt good enough or that my life made any sense. Parents never married, broke up, got back together, just in time for Dad to die. Knowing I was gay and in love with my best friend at such a young age but not understanding why or how to process that. Needing to know the ending of every story before it’s even told. Deconstructing food on the plate to see how it’s made. Knowing I can live with Ricky DeLuca, the one person I never thought I could live without.
Maybethat’smain character energy, allowing myself space to be a whole entire person, fabulous flaws and all, without having to worry what people think? I can’t please everyone, but this trip is showing me I can be both at the center of my own story and the driver, and that what I thought didn’t make sense is simply part of life. It makes me, me.
Thatfeels good.
Zia Gab hugs me from the side. “Don’t be afraid to be your own main character. Your life is yours to live. Just remember, you’re not alone.”
Ma and Zia Rosa nod emphatically, both proudly smiling. It’s saccharine and embarrassing and wonderful.
“And if anyone messes with you, I’ll put the malocchio onthem.” Nonna does the sign of the cross and recites her Roman Catholic incantation: “Nel nome del Padre, e del Figlio, e dello Spirito Santo, amen!”
Zia Gab laughs from her gut before saying, “Witchy!” She waves the rest of the Coven over, and one by one, they wrap their arms around me and squeeze.
“I want in!” Matty wedges himself in the middle of a Lemon sandwich.
Even if Ricky doesn’t choose me, I’m going to be okay.
I’ll be devastated, but I’ll survive.
No, not survive.Thrive.
Main character energy and all that.
I’m a fucking Lemon.
(Who am I kidding. He better choose me!)
The Rehearsal Dinner
Ricky’s Big Decision
FRIDAY
RICKY DELUCA
“A Trademark Move”
When I don’t know what to do, I work with my hands.
Whittle, carve, shape, build, design plans, something, anything.
Except I have no tools or materials. I thought about sneaking into the utility shed on the side of Villa Limone Regale because there are some beautiful old furniture pieces, and if I found a hand sander, wood putty and a knife, and some varnish, I’d be able to—
Make a decision.
Benny eyes me like I’m something fragile, porcelain about to break. He’s been doing that since last night when I showed up at his room, pillow and suitcase in hand. I thought it best to give Cam space. I want to be respectful to both him and Fielder and keep my distance. I’ve done enough damage.
I need a clear head, and I don’t want to lead either on, or break either more than I have.
“You think an awful lot of yourself, cous,” Benny says.“Giving yourself an awful lot of credit, methinks. Come down off that high horse. Just a little bit.”
