Page 116 of Rudra Nandani: The Saga of Control And Seduction

She lowered her gaze, and I noticed a few strands of her hair flowing in the wind. Another tear fell from her eye, trailing down and finally resting on her collarbones. She sobbed softly, lifting her eyes back to me.

“Humne to aapke liye pehle hi apne jeene ki asha cchoddi thi, Rudra. Humne to pehle hi apne jeevan ka uddeshya, apne mata-pita ko aapke liye chod diya. Jis din humne aapke kaksh mein paanv dhare, ye jaante hue ki aap humaare shatru ke putra hai, humne apne maasa aur baapusa ko daga de di,”(I have already given up on my hope of survival for you, Rudra. I have already left my life’s purpose, my parents, for you. The day I stepped into your chamber, even though you’re the son of our enemy, I betrayed my parents.) She spoke through tears, her voice dripped with extreme sorrow.

I instantly turned my eyes south and took her shivering hands in mine. With every drop of her tears and each word spoken, my heart felt as if it slowed down under the intense pressure of our reality.

I was at a loss for words, unsure of what I truly wanted or what to expect. My mind couldn't make sense of everything happening around me.

“Humein maatra aap chaahiye, Nandani. Keval aap; aur kuch nahi,”(I just want you, Nandani. Only you; nothing else.) I said, bringing her hand close to my lips and gently kissing the back of her hand.

I closed my eyes briefly, sinking into her touch and fragrance, letting her energy wash over all my doubts, and feeling a sense of peace inside my body.

“Hum to aap hi ke hain, Rudra,”(I am all yours, Rudra.) She said, and I opened my eyes to look at her.“Bas aisa kuch na kariyega jo humein jeete ji maarde,”(But don't do something that would make me a living corpse.) She whispered agonisingly.

I quickly shook my head and watched her close her eyes, allowing the tears to spill down her cheeks. She gently rested her head against my chest as I wrapped my arms around her.

An instant wave of relaxation washed over me as I felt her warmth, melting away my inner turmoil. I felt ecstatic as tears streamed down my cheeks.

Love had always been the feeling I despised most in my life. It was the first thing I hated because it caused my mother so much suffering. She had been content before she loved, and the irony was that love was neither happiness nor pain. It was both the remedy and the wound itself. It was the sword that tore her apart, yet she did not bleed, not a single drop. It is something that gradually kills you, piece by piece, yet somehow, you find salvation in the end.

I hated this love the most. It makes us weak, distracts us, conquers us, changes us, and destroys us. But if she was love, she was that weakness, that distraction, the conqueror, the change, the destroyer. Then for me, love was beautiful, love was euphoric, love was peace, love was bliss, love was that shine in the night, love was that spark that tells you that you are alive, love was that fire, love was the flame that burns you. Love was something that kept every bit of me together from falling apart, from destroying myself, from burning my soul.

And then I thought I finally understood what my mother must have felt when she fell in love with my father. Recalling her, I realized how much she had sacrificed for him—the risks she took, the care she gave him.

But I wasn’t my father. I wasn’t the man I had resented the most. I couldn’t be the one who failed to answer her love with my own. I could never be the one to hurt her the way my father had hurt my mother. Never.

I took a deep breath. She was right—I had to make a choice. I had to set things right. Suddenly, she pulled away and looked at me.

Her lips were swollen, her cheeks flushed, and her eyes were wet, the redness blurring her gaze.

“Humein chalna chahiye. Aap vishraam kijiye,”(I should go now. You take a rest.)

She moved to stand, but I quickly grasped her wrist. The sound of her bangles and anklets shattered the silence, and she softly lowered her gaze to meet mine. Our eyes locked, and a heavy silence lingered until I gathered the courage to speak.

“Ruk jaaiye, Nandani. Humaare paas. Ek raatri, keval hum dono, bina kisi asmanjas ke,”(Stay, Nandani, with me, a night, just us, alone, without anything else.)

Tilting her head slightly, she quietly muttered,“Aap pachtaayenge kal yadi hum aaj ruk gaye to,”(You will regret tomorrow if I’d stay tonight.)

I shook my head.“Aapke saath har kshan mein trupti hai, pachtawa nahi,”(Every moment with you is heaven for me, not regret). I spoke lowly.

She inhaled deeply before sitting back before me.

She blinked in uncertainty, nipping at her lower lip. I couldn't stop myself from freeing her lower lip with my thumb to prevent her from torturing it.“Don't do that, it will bleed.”

She lifted her gaze to meet mine. Slowly, she brought her finger to my cheek, gently caressing my tear-streaked face.“Don't do that,” she whispered.“It bleeds my heart.”

My eyes held hers, tracing the moisture on her lashes. Her pupils appeared darker and more prominent than before. The moonlight cascading over her face made her look like a serene river flowing beneath a blanket of stars.

Unknowingly, my hand moved from her chin to her cheek, gently cupping her face. I felt the subtle shift in her features as I touched her skin—the slight shiver, the change in warmth, the quickening of her heartbeat, the uneven breathing, and the parting of her lips. Her eyes softened, drawing me deeper into her—her scent, her warmth, her embrace. So deep that my mind ceased to think of anything else.

I watched her closely as the distance between our faces narrowed, her features drawing nearer and her eyes blinking softly. The sound of our breathing gradually became audible, the sensation of her breath brushing against my face.

My fingers instinctively moved through her hair as her face tilted back, and mine dipped closer. Her eyes closed, her breath quickening, her lips trembling, wet with anticipation.Without thinking, I moved closer, my nose grazing the side of her cheek, inhaling her scent, feeling her surrender to the touch.

The sound of her breath grew louder, blocking every other noise. The heat from our intimacy shut the wind blowing over my body, and her loud heartbeats made me lose track of my heart’s rhythm.

There was only a pull, an endless horizon, a clarity that felt like an empty grassland—no rushing, no winds, no chaos, no birds. Just silence. Peace. Love. And then a touch. The softness of her lips on mine, a euphoric wave of ecstasy sweeping over me. The kiss was slow, gentle, yet overwhelmingly intense—like the warmth of the sun, the softness of water, the peace of an empty field, and the calm of a dream.

Shunned breathing, pounding heartbeats, waves of sensations, and chills ran down my spine and moved up to my head, making me feel sparks in my mind and leaving an oozing brain.

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