Page 40 of Rudra Nandani: The Saga of Control And Seduction

“But please just tell me that it was a joke. I refuse to believe it, toaccept it, to go through it, please. Just tell me that it was a trick,” I turned my head away from him and squirmed under his hold.

“Whatever you witnessed is real, and I'm warning you, don't you dare think of abducting me. You've ruined my life enough, but for god's sake, now just stay out of it,” I stated.

He took a deep breath, nodding his head, he asked,“So you slept with him, just to take revenge on me?” My gaze softened.

“No, it wasn't just about revenge. It is about the feeling you go through when the person you deeply care about tarnishes all your love and trust. You hurt my parents by disgracing me. So, how does it feel now? Tell me how it feels now that the person whose name you so proudly have engraved on your hand is a disgrace to you?” I questioned, and he sternly spoke,“You are not a disgrace to me, you get it.”

Inhaling deeply, I asked in a low tone,“And, what about when I'll be pregnant with his baby?”

He pulled me even closer to him, and affected by the proximity, I turned my face to the side. His forehead bumped on my temple, and I heard him breathing angrily over my ear.

“I'll burn you, this whole damn world and myself if you dare get pregnant with his child, or with anyone's child, understand?” the dominance in his tone, the way he said it did something to my stomach, like butterflies heavily fluttering.

Holding my cheek, he turned my face to look at him. It was too much, too overwhelming, and my lashes felt heavier, making me blink rapidly.

He caressed my neck and cheek lightly, inhaled deeply, and asked in a slow, gentle voice,“Now, please tell me it was all a lie, that nothing happened between the both of you.” The way he gently caressed my cheek with his fingers and the desperation in his voice made me feel weak in the knees.

There was a battle within me between my heart and my mind. My heart, in its love, wanted to tell him it was all a deception, that it wasn't true, but my brain opposed it and did not want to trust him. It felt as if my mind didn't want my heart to be hurt any further. It was important to make him realize that he could not just break people’s hearts for his convenience.

“No, it is not a lie,” I said, and he immediately yanked me away. I steadied myself on the bed and looked into his eyes burning with fury.

Tears streamed down my face as I saw him retreat. Turning around, he left me alone, and I tried to control myself. I didn't know why, but seeing him so helpless, with tears falling from his eyes, made my heart ache.

But I couldn't just give up. Come what may.

A woman's heart is not an object to be used. One moment, you act in an evil manner, disregarding grace and disgrace, and the next, you speak like a saint, lecturing on principles and ethics. That is not okay, at least not for me. He must understand that women have feelings and that he cannot simply play with my emotions.

Heaving an uneven sigh, I tried to calm myself and got on the bed to catch some sleep.

I stared at the ceiling. The rich colors of these intricate designs, with gold accents, would forever haunt my mind once I left this place—my chamber, my palace, my home. And suddenly, I realized that I would probably end up homeless.

I chuckled at the thought, washing away my tears, and slowly slipped into my slumber.

Waking up early the following day, I sauntered like I always did in the palace’s corridors. It was finally the day of my wedding, yet I wasn't sure who my husband would be until the ceremony happened.

The soft green grass tickled my feet as I walked in the royal garden. It felt pleasant. I sat on the lush floor in the middle of the garden and closed my eyes. The scent of the fresh morning breeze soothed my insides.

Never in my life have I lied. I tried many times but couldn't. Nandani and lies never went together well in a sentence. But for the first time, I did; I lied to Rudra because I couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth. I didn't know how hurt or irreparable I was, that the lies which used to scare me suddenly became my biggest escape.

“Nandani,” Suman called, and I opened my eyes to see her sitting beside me. She enveloped me in a side hug and said,“You know, to be brave like you is my dream.”

I smiled at her weakly and asked in a low voice,“Where is he?” Releasing a breath, she replied,“I don't exactly know, but I heard that he left last night and no one has seen him ever since.” I nodded, palming my face.

“You look worried,” she stated, and I turned my gaze to look ather.

“No, I’m fine,” I said, and she observed my face for a few seconds.

“Nandani, if I ask you something, will you answer me truly?” I nodded, and she took a deep breath and asked,“Do you really love Rudra so much?” I smiled at her sadly and looked down at my palms.

“What do you think the colour of my henna is indicating?”

She looked at the color of henna on my hands.“Well, the darkest shade is saying that you'll be loved deeply, and you should be,” looking back at me, she said,“I mean, I was just six when I met you for the first time. And since then, our friendship grew immensely, and not for once did you ever make me feel like I'm just an attendee, but a friend,” she expressed her thoughts very fluently.“Nandani, you're kind to people. You never look down on anyone because they are poor, nor do you speak highly of and favor just the rich. I've seen you sharing your food with the children of the attendees. You deserve all the love that exists in the world. I don't know what the future has in store for you, but I'll pray that you receive the love and respect you deserve,” I turned teary by the time she finished.

“Love is not a game, not planned, not a hit-and-trial. You cannot be particular. When you love someone, you love them whole. You love their flaws, their imperfections, their negatives. Love never happens because you find them perfect; it happens because your heart chooses to look beyond their good and bad. Love is just love. It cannot be anything else. And in me, this love is in the form of fire, which is burning for him. Love is effortless, yet demands sacrifices. It is not simple,” I poured my thoughts out so naturally, and she furrowed her eyebrows.

“It sounds complicated,” I smiled.“Well, it does,”

Silence followed, and the first ray of the sun showered me with its warmth, bringing all the positivity.

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