Page 5 of Rudra Nandani: The Saga of Control And Seduction

‘As my eyes capture the sight of you anywhere around me, my heart begins racing. Every time I see you smiling, sensations wave through my body, settling at the base of my spine. But deep down, I feel this is not enough. I yearn for more, more than just a smile, more than the subtle touches. I long for the feeling of your fingers on my arms, on the curves of my waist, somewhere sensitive, like my feet.

I cannot precisely describe what I want, but I am sure that I desire something more than what we have now. I want you around me, your touch that will set my skin on fire and consume me to the bones, which will ultimately illuminate every inch of me.

I want you to see me more than anyone ever has, and I want to see you more than anyone ever has. I want us so close that ourbreathing feels wild yet warm against our faces. I want us to be one, once and for all.

That’s it!’

Once I finished, I sighed deeply and rolled the letter back, keeping it safe.

This was what I wanted. I wanted him more than anything, and everything I desired was solely for him and related to him.

Standing up, I looked out the window to check the time. The orange hues in the purple sky, with the setting sun on the horizon, indicated it was almost evening. If I wanted to meet him at night, I’d have to finish my work soon.

I hid the letter and went to the kitchen. After instructing the cooks on the dinner menu, which included most of what Rudra liked, I retired to meet my mother and grandmother.

Later, we all gathered in the dining hall, where everyone was seated.

I found Rudra and Abhinandan, my twin brother, sitting together. They seemed to be engaged in some serious conversation.

I sat next to my mother and grandmother, facing Rudra, Abhinandan, and my father.

My grandfather started the tradition of family dinners. Since then, everyone in the family, along with close guests, has gathered for dinner together.

As the attendants started serving the food, I glanced at Rudra, who didn’t spare me a look. They were both talking, and it looked pretty grave.

“Nandani,” suddenly, my mother’s call caught my attention, and I looked at her.“What happened? You look lost,” she asked. I hesitantly shook my head.“Nothing,” I instantly answered, and she frowned, looking at me.

“Your father told me to ask you about the Swayamvar’s4invites. He is concerned about your marriage. I hope you know that,” she reminded me, and I inhaled a deep breath.“Yes… Yes, I do,” I agreed bitterly.

“You've already rejected seven alliances, Princess. He is concerned about what is going on in your mind. Now that you are of age and have completed your education, what is preoccupying you? This is the right stage to get married and settle down,” she illustrated in a neutral tone.

“She is right, Nandani,” my grandmother interjected,“You mustget married now. You’ve rejected every proposal in the last two years and have not given a valid reason for doing so,”

I looked at her, clueless. I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t lie, and my heart started beating rapidly.

“I will Maasa5, Daadisa. I will get married. It's just that I’m afraid and waiting for the right man,” I said. They nodded, and thankfully, as the food was served, we all focused on eating.

But I had to talk to Rudra. I needed to know what was going on in his mind and when he would ask my parents for my hand in marriage.

He was merely a guard for King Surgami Dev Singh, his uncle. However, I was content with being his wife. I didn’t desire any titles or recognition; I’ve had them throughout my life. Furthermore, to serve the people and engage in social welfare, I didn’t need any entitlement. The determination to work was enough.

I was trying to concentrate on dinner and realized that he hadn’t looked at me even once. He was very much absorbed in eating.

He has always been that way—a disciplinarian. His schedule was well-defined, and he was known for being very firm. Always.

If he eats, he eats. If he fights, he simply fights. No distractions can divert his mind at all.

Once dinner was finished, everyone retired to their respective chambers.

I needed to take a bath because I was going to see him that night.

Returning to my chamber, I asked my attendants to prepare for my bath. In the meantime, I chose my clothes and detangled my braid to wash my hair.

Once the preparations were done, I took a long and refreshing bath. The attendees washed my hair and scrubbed my arms and legs with a paste to remove body hair.

After the bath, they helped me dry my hair, and I urged them to leave since their work was done.

From my window, I observed the attendees carrying flaming torches to light other torches and add oil to the lamps. This was a routine. Therefore, I patiently waited for them all to fall asleep.

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